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Monthly Archives: May 2008
Power Trippin’ Judge Wants You To Rub Her Corns
This bit of news is actually a few weeks old, but I just caught it. And let me just say: Woah!
Elizabeth Halverson is a judge. But the way courthouse staffers see it, she expects to be treated like a queen.
Judge Elizabeth Halverson will face hearings next month by a judicial discipline panel.
Her former bailiff, for example, says Halverson made him feel like a “houseboy.” He says the judge — who is obese and uses a motorized scooter to get around — made him put her shoes on her feet, massage her back, cover her with a blanket for naps and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. He says she asked him, “Do you want to worship me from near or afar?”
Halverson also surrounded herself with her own hired guards, saying she did not trust the courthouse security force to protect her. Another time, she allegedly had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath whether he had completed chores at home.
But despite taking naps, swearing in her husband to ask if he did the chores, and asking the bailiff to put on her shoes, after Halverson was locked out of her courtroom, she still managed to find a defender:
Jeffrey Stempel, a law professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, said he is troubled by what appears to be an attempt to “micromanage” a judge.
“Judicial removal should generally be reserved for corruption and complete incompetence or inability to do the job,” Stempel said. “One question you have to ask is, `Is this judge so bad we have to remove her before the voters have a chance to do so?’
Ummm. Yes.
Crazy White Obama Preacher More Entertaining than the Crazy Black One
I have no idea what’s offensive about this guy, or even what was offensive about what he said. It was clearly in jest, but I think there’s probably some truth to it, nevertheless. And if whitey hates anything, it’s being made fun of by a white preacher in a black church. Turncoat!
Weird Crime Department
What kind of crime is this?
A woman told Cincinnati police that she heard a noise and then felt something cold on her feet. Police said a man crawled under a table at a University of Cincinnati library and used a syringe to spray saltwater onto the woman’s shoes.
The woman told officers that after she heard something coming from under her table and felt the sensation on her feet, she looked down and saw a man on his knee holding a syringe.
What’s even more absurd: His bond was set for $75,000. For spraying salt-water on a woman’s shoes.
Man, if spraying salt water on a woman’s shoes is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Weird-looking guy, though. I’ll give you that.
If You Don’t Want to Hear it From Me, then How About the Original Hawkeye Pierce?
Those goddamn Canadians have a way with big words, don’t they? Just because they have a better vocabulary than we do, doesn’t mean they’re smarter.
Oh, wait: Sometimes it does. See, e.g., Donald Sutherland’s scathing attack on Hillary Clinton:
Haven’t we had enough of Mrs. Clinton’s mad antics in her pursuit of the realization of venal personal ambition; her ‘say anything, do anything, no matter what’ effort to manipulate our all too willing media to gull this country’s populace into believing that her wretched illegitimacy is indeed legitimate. How much mendacity do we have to suffer, how much brazenness do we have to swallow before someone, anyone, has the decency, the common sense, to relieve us of this terrible trifle, this pathetic madness? (Source)
It’s an even more effective screed if you can hear, in your mind,
Sutherland delivering it. But don’t worry, Donald. It’ll all be over
this time next week.
(H/T Deus Ex Malcontent)
The Daily Memo - 5/30/08
Wisconsin’s Governor Jim Doyle has signed off on an interstate compact to help protect the Great Lakes by banning diversion of lake water. (Physorg)
MLB hates little league. (The Southtown Star)
Awww … poor old man McCain has trouble saying “Ahmadinejad.” (Change of Subject)
You probably heard this already, but New York’s Governor David A. Paterson has issued a directive that the state will recognize same-sex marriages from other states and Canada. (NY Times)
Yup, technology can really fuck your shit up. (WSJ Law Blog)
Classy — a lawyer has been arrested for groping lady lawyers in his office. (Law.com)
His name was Robert Paulson. His name … was Robert Paulson
Over in England, the Daily Mail newspaper can just be so damn entertaining some time. With a great picture of Jack Nicholson and his man tits, they ran this story:
It is a subject that most men manage to keep under wraps - or at least under their shirts.
But yesterday male breasts, or moobs as they are sometimes known, were right out in the open in one of the highest courts in the land.
Three senior judges grappled with the question of whether male breasts could be regarded as having any sexual allure.
The leading legal minds got to grips with the issue after a man who secretly filmed another man’s top half at a public swimming pool was convicted of voyeurism.
Care worker Kevin Bassett, 44, was found guilty last year after using a video camera hidden in a plastic bag to take shots of a swimmer.
Yesterday, his conviction was quashed at the Court of Appeal after Lord Justice Hughes, Mr Justice Treacy and Sir Paul Cresswell ruled that a man’s bare torso did not count as ‘private parts’.
The tagline under the Jack photo? “Jack Nicholson is a proud owner of man boobs — and he doesn’t seem to care whether they’re ogled or not.” He’s Jack, man, of course he doesn’t care.
Inside Man
Down in Jacksonville, Florida, there’s a pizza joint by the name of Hungry Howie’s Pizza. Recently, it was robbed in the early hours of a Wednesday morning. Someone busted up the read door, trashed the security cameras, and made off with some cash and credit card receipts. However, the robber didn’t get the actual surveillance video, which the owner took to the cops. From this video, they were able to identify Joseph Whittenton as the likely burglar.
And it was all the easier to ID Whittenton as the burglar since he’s a Hungry Howie’s employee. And since he was wearing his Hungry Howie’s uniform in the video. I mean, come on dude — at least change your shirt before robbing your own place of employment, you know?
Come on man, do your job!
It’s nice to know that it’s not just here in the States where cops don’t really always get the job done right. For example, up in Canada, eh, a man was recently pulled over for speeding. He wound up with an even greater fine, however, when the officer got to the minivan’s window and saw that the driver was watching a DVD on a portable player sitting on the van’s dahsboard. The driver admitted to watching the flick and claimed he didn’t realize it was illegal. Which it is. And so he got himself an extra fine.
But here’s the thing — the officer didn’t find out what movie the driver was watching. Come on man, that’s the only thing any of us want to know from this story. Disappointed!
Worst. Wedding. Ever.
Seriously, this could only happen in Arkansas. God bless my home state. No, really: It needs a lot of God’s blessings:
A shooting at an outdoor wedding ended in chaos as a man sped off to find help for the three victims loaded into the back of his pickup.Arriving Pope County sheriff’s deputies found a woman lying in the truck’s bed with a gunshot wound to the head. A man next to her had blood pumping down over his body from a wound his neck. Another man sat in the back, suffering from a chest wound.
As deputies got to Piney Creek, they found another woman with a gunshot wound to the wrist, according to their initial reports.
But now, three days after the shooting, the chief prosecutor said that trying to piece together what went wrong Saturday remained difficult. There were reports that the suspect’s dog and the wedding couple’s dog got into a fight, and it escalated from there. (Source)
Piece of advice: Never invite dogs to a wedding.
Presidential (Adjective): Befitting a president.
The Problem with a Nude Maid Is Easy Access to a Hiding Spot
If you’re going to hire a nude maid, let me ask you this: Why leave her alone in another room to do the cleaning? That completely defeats the purpose.
A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man’s home. The Hillsborough Sheriff’s Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom. (Source)
I say, she’s just really, really thorough. That damn jewelry was just cluttering up the place.
Calling All New York Bar Applicants
Taking the NY Bar? Stressed out? Worried about the 22 subjects you need to learn for one of the hardest bar exams in the country? Can’t deal with the droning Bar-Bri instructor or the nightly MBE questions?
Well, you could relax with a nice glass of wine, a little nicotine, and a Top Chef marathon this weekend, OR, you could engage in an orgy!
Check this Craiglist post (since removed):
DE-STRESS B4 THE BAR EXAM — WEEKLY ORGY FOR RECENT LAW SCHOOL GRADSThe NY bar exam is coming… It’s a time of intense study for recent law school graduates with a phenomenal amount of stress involved. Stop studying for a few hours and de-stress at a weekly orgy!
Every week, my girlfriend and I will be hosting an orgy for those studying for the bar and/or their partners.
We realize that the law profession is very much about one’s good name and reputation, so we will host with the greatest of care and anonymity. Don’t use your real name, don’t talk about your school or your firm, just come and have fun.
Ummmm …. ewwwwwwwww. No offense to the lawyers and future lawyers amongst our readership, but take a look at, say, any Law Review photo from any law school in the country, and you’d quickly realize that an orgy comprised of lawyers would likely be just about the least titillating experience of your lifetime. And can you imagine the Aspergerish retards that’d actually show up to a Craiglist lawyer orgy? They’d bring flash cards and diagrams. Yikes.
(Major Hat Tip to Above the Law)
The Daily Memo - 5/29/08
Albany, NY judge to Dell: “You some misleading, deceptive, unlawful business practicing motherfuckers.” (Engadget)
Wait, what’s the problem with cops fondling your anal beads? It’s not like they stuck ‘em up their own asses? (Above the Law)
Delta is being sued by a lawyer who says his 80-year-old mother’s birthday was wrecked because of nasty and obnoxious employees. (Law.com)
A new report says terrorism cases are best left to civilian courts, not military tribunals. “P.S.,” says the report, “suck our nuts, Mr. Bush.” (LawInfo)
This story is awesome — a stripper who got drunk and got in a car wreck says she had to get drunk because it’s part of her job, so her managers should cover the accident. (Supreme Dicta)
Earlier this week, the feds pinched a dude for owning and running six medical weed joins in LA. (LAist)
The White House says former press secretary Scott McClellan is just a bitter Nancy. (The Huffington Post)
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-please, Eddie!
There’s this scene, I think in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, where a can of yellow paint is hung from the back of a car bumper, with a hole punctured in its side. Thus, when the car eventually drives off, it leaves an easy-to-follow yellow trail behind it. (Am I totally wrong here? Was it some other movie?) Well in Sacramento, a car thief found the real-life version of this happen to him, thanks to an oil leak in the car they stole:
Two police officers found a stolen car abandoned in a Sacramento alley, still dripping from its engine. Officer Sang Koo Park of the Sacramento Police and his partner saw that the oil left a trail, so they followed it.
“This particular fluid trail was very discernable,” said Officer Park. “It was fresh, it was uniform, you could have taken a highlighter and highlighted the trail back to his house. It was that noticeable.”
Beam Me Up, Your Honor
Seems that this October, civil and family law judges in jolly ol’ England will be giving up the wigs that they’ve worn for several centuries. The Lord Chief Justice (how much cooler is any title with “lord” in front of it?) said that he thought these wigs were old and stuffy, and it was time to get modern. In fact, along with letting their natural locks flow, the British judges are also getting modernized robes that are less out of touch with our modern day and age.
But some think that this change stinks “because it’s a break with tradition,” and many a stuffy Brit dislikes breaking with tradition. Also, some are opposed to the new robes, which they say is a little too modern, looking more like something out of Star Trek:
Criminal judges, meanwhile, are keeping their wigs both because they like the appearance of dignity, and because it helps make them less recognizable, in case a criminal defendant comes a-looking for them later. But don’t they know that’s what Scotty and the transporter are for, to get them out of such hairy situations?
Let the children’s voices be heard!
The mother of 5-year-old Alex Barton is considering filing a lawsuit against his elementary school teacher because she had the nerve — the audacity — to try to teach her kindergarten class about democracy. Melissa Barton has filed a complaint with the authorities, but no criminal charges will be filed, because it was determined that this vote didn’t amount to emotional child abuse, as she contends.
I mean, why would you think it’s emotional child abuse for a kindergarten teacher to allow her students to vote on whether an autistic kid should be kicked out of the class?
Yup. Wendy Portillo let the sixteen kids in her class vote on whether Alex, who’s currently undergoing testing to determine for sure if he’s got Asperger’s syndrome, should stay or go. And in a 14-to-2 vote, the kids said “send him the hell out.”
…Need I mention what state this class teacher works in? It rhymes with Schmorida.
What’s Better Than Stories about Stupid Criminals?
Video evidence of stupid criminals.
And these guys may take the motherfucking cake.
From our readers’ mouths to your eyes
Back to the QuizLaw mailbag, for two more stories from the readers, we go.
First, reader Dawn B. sends us the story of a Georgia teenager who’s been arrested and charged for biting or grabbing the asses of at least 10 women at his local Wal-Mart. Always leaping at a new opportunity, Wal-Mart has now announced a new line of ass cushions which its shoppers can rent for the bargain price of $1, to protect their tushies from such trouble-making youngins.
And from an Australian reader of ours who blogs over at The Stumblng Tumblr (you know, we have a surprisingly large Australian readership — y’all just like mocking us silly Americans from down under?) comes the tale of a brilliant Kiwi (i.e., New Zealander) who tried to pay for food with weed when he realized he was out of money. But dumb luck for him — the guy right behind him in line was a cop, in uniform, and our doped-up Kiwi was promptly arrested for possession.
What? No Penny Whistles?
What is even more lethal than a gun, more dangerous than a knife, more fierce than an axe?
Moonpies, bitches.
Police in Galesburg said a homeless man was arrested for allegedly attacking an 84-year-old man with a box of Moon Pies.
The elderly man told police he was on his way out of a dollar store on Friday when he felt something striking him repeatedly in the back. He said he turned around and saw that 53-year-old Michael Farquer was hitting him with something inside a yellow plastic bag.
The victim went back inside the store, and Farquer followed him, whereupon the staff called police. Officers determined that the weapon was a one-dollar box of Moon Pies, which they confiscated as evidence before taking Farquer to the Knox County Jail on a battery charge. (Source)
Well, at least it wasn’t stale ding dongs. Those motherfuckers sting.
The Daily Memo - 5/28/08
“How the Clintons would disenfranchise Florida and Michigan voters.” (Andrew Sullivan)
Google has answered Viacom’s amended complaint against Google (for $1 billion), saying that this lawsuit could end life as we know it. (Above the Law)
Yahoo is suing spammers who make folks think they’ve won the lottery. (LawInfo)
The Supremes issued some new opinions, including offering some more protection for workers who complain about discrimination from facing retaliation. (SCOTUSblog)
Following up on one of our entries form last week, here’s some retarded state legislation, Nevada-style. (Supreme Dicta)
The DOJ has reached a proposed settlement that will let internet-based realtors compete with brick-and-mortar agents. (NetworkWorld.com)
Scott McClennan Amazingly Capable of Independent Thought!
If you haven’t heard yet, former Press Secretary Scott McClennan is releasing a book that promises to be the first real negative attack on the Bush Administration from someone inside the Bush White House. In the book, McClennan writes, in part:
President Bush “convinces himself to believe what suits his needs at the moment,” and has engaged in “self-deception” to justify his political ends, Scott McClellan, the former White House press secretary, writes in a critical new memoir about his years in the West Wing.In addition, Mr. McClellan writes, the decision to invade Iraq was a “serious strategic blunder,” and yet, in his view, it was not the biggest mistake the Bush White House made. That, he says, was “a decision to turn away from candor and honesty when those qualities were most needed.” (Source)
Nope, Scott. The decision to invade Iraq was definitely the biggest mistake of the Bush White House. Absolutely. 100 percent. No denying it. While I’m sure that the “decision to turn away from candor and honesty” was a mistake, it’s the Iraq War that costs $12 billion a month. No comparison there, buddy. On the blunder meter, I think I’d put that whole candor and honesty mistake somewhere below No Child Left Behind, Hurricane Katrina, Guantanamo Bay, warrantless wiretapping, and the firing of Democrat U.S. Attorneys — I’d put it somewhere on par with trying to sneak Harriet Meiers onto the Supreme Court, I suppose.
There’s at least one thing I can get behind McCain on
For those unfamiliar with British government, one of the great things our brothers of another mother do is to have the Prime Minister routinely go before Parliament for what’s called Prime Minister’s Questions, where an open discussion is held. It’s often quite lively, particularly when Members of Parliament decide to take the PM to task on various things they’ve done.
Well last week, McCain said that, if he were to win the election this November, he’d like to do the same thing:
I will ask Congress to grant me the privilege of coming before both houses to take questions, and address criticism, much the same as the prime minister of Great Britain appears regularly before the House of Commons.
That is seriously fantastic, not just from an entertainment standpoint, but from a governance perspective as well, and I hope that Obama might consider something similar if he wins the November election (and, ok, I’ll play along Hillary — I hope you’ll do it too, if you *cough* win in November).
Superman just melts cancer kids with his heat rays, but Batman actually uses their skin to make new utility belts
When Thomas Denton’s nephew was diagnosed with cancer, a charity called Candlelighters stepped in to help his family out. So Denton decided to return the favor as best he could, using his comic book connections to set up some charity auctions featuring original artwork, the proceeds from which would go to Candlelighters. Some of the artwork included comic characters belonging to DC Comics, like Superman and Batman. And DC Comics’ parent corporation, Time Warner, was unhappy with the unauthorized use of its trademarked characters.
So it shut down the charity eBay auctions, which were going to provide money to help cancer kids.
Heartless corporations, is there anything they won’t do?
God hates lawyers
A recent study was done of first year law students at the University of St. Thomas Law School of Law in Minnesota, to find out how their spirituality affected their scholastic performance. And the study found that “[s]trong spirituality had a negative correlation with academic performance,” while “[m]edium and low spirituality had no correlation.”
Since I’m a heathenous pig, must be why I’m a reasonably decent lawyer. Knew all my sinning would come in handy one of these days!
Shut Up. Shut Up! Shut Up!
Just shut up, Bill Clinton. Please. You’re breaking my heart. Put a lid on it. Shove your pie-hole full of Big Macs and don’t speak. There are no vast left-wing conspiracies. There is no media cover-up, and in no way is “all of the evidence” suggesting that your wife is beating Barack Obama. You are deluded, sir. Apparently, the heart surgeons removed your intelligence and tact during your heart surgery several years ago. You may very well become the first president to go out with incredibly high approval ratings, and yet end up with a legacy no better than our current President’s. You have got to keep your mouth shut. Seriously. Don’t speak. Zip it.
Today’s Classiest Law Firm Ad
I can’t tell if it’s an ad for a law firm or an ad for a naughty stripper — you gotta wonder if, in addition to legal representation, you also get a few spankings? Or is that extra?
Just real classy.
(H/T Overlawyered)
That Ferris Bueller Bullsh*t Doesn’t Work in the Real World, Son
Why did this dude even think he could get away with this?
Loren Elliotte Friedman is accused in a complaint filed May 6 by the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission. He was listed as an associate at Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle in New York on the firm’s website earlier Tuesday, but his name was removed by the afternoon.
Joseph Pizzurro, managing partner of Curtis Mallet-Prevost, told ABAJournal.com that Friedman, a bankruptcy associate, disclosed the bar complaint to the law firm on Friday and submitted his resignation.
The complaint says Friedman altered transcripts of his law school grades in 20 classes to reflect better grades than he received. Friedman worked at Sidley Austin the summer of 2002, and the firm extended an employment offer for him to begin work as an associate in 2003. (Source)
He went to the University of Chicago, one of the best law school in the nation. Even with mediocre grades, he’s more or less guaranteed a decent position at some corporate law firm. What the hell? And he lived this lie for six years — you have to imagine that getting caught actually was something of a relief, knowing that the inevitable wasn’t hanging over his head any longer. Of course, he has no future as a lawyer anymore, so really: It was a blessing!
Obama’s First Big Bushism …
On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today — our sense of patriotism is particularly strong. (Source)
The Daily Memo - 5/27/08
Last Friday, a Philly jury awarded $20.5 million to the parents of a college student who died from a botched liposuction. (Law.com)
The first federal criminal trial relating to online music piracy has led to a guilty verdict for a 25-year-old Brooklyn man, who’s now facing up to five years in the clink. (Listening Post (Wired))
An appeals court here in Cali has ruled that the state legislature can’t limit the amount of medical marijuana patients can possess. (Law.com)
Are there trade dress rights in the design of those recognizable red law school books? (Concurring Opinions)
After ignoring demands to get off his cell phone while in-flight, a Southwest passenger was arrested for disorderly conduct. (AZ Central)
Memphis police made 64 prostitution arrests over the course of a three day sting. (My Eyewitness News)
They mugged a 6-year-old? (USA Today’s On Deadline)
With a boss like this, who needs enemies?
Adam Kutner is the best kind of lawyer — the kind who runs his practice like an asshole tyrant. The kind who calls his employees kind words like “morons,” “fucking dumb-asses,” “fat bitches” and “cunts.” The kind who flings phone headsets and writing utensils around in anger and disgust. The kind who flings cell phones at a “stupid Mexican” employee.
The kind who punches holes in the wall, who slams doors so hard shit gets busted up, who threatens his employees with golf clubs, who brags about his sexual adventures to his female employees and who makes employees shave his neck.
And the kind who — and this one is over the fucking top — rants about hating large breasts on women.
I mean, calling your employees “fat bitches” and hucking phones at them? Fine enough. But not digging big titties? That’s fucking lunacy.
In any event, he’s currently being sued by three former female employees, and he has previously been sued by three others (he settled those cases). He’s also counter-suing, claiming it’s all a bunch of libel and that these gals are just trying to jump on board a gravy train of sexual harassment settlement money.
(Hat tip: Above the Law.)
Dude, I totally want to take a speedboat equipped with machine guns to court!
Over the weekend, Salon featured an interesting piece by Carol Chodroff, a former federal defender who, last week, had her “first experience with the military commissions at the Guantánamo Bay Naval Base, where the U.S. government is putting 15 terror suspects on trial.”
She tells the story of man who’s been held for five years and, now that he was finally getting his day in court, decided he wanted to boycott the hearing, eventually saying:
I don’t accept these charges. There is no justice with me. I am oppressed. I have been brought by force. I didn’t want to come to this court. They have been cruel to me — your strong people.
It’s a quick but interesting read, and I hope this is part of a series, because I’d like to read more.
I hope this past Memorial Day…
…you remembered to use sun lotion everywhere.
(This kind message, as always, comes to you from our friends at The Smoking Gun.)
Did Obama kick McCain in the nuts?
So Senator Jim Webb has introduced a GI bill to increase the benefits given to vets. Our lovely President is against it, because why should we do more for those who actually make it home from Iraq and Afghanistan and the other places we send them? And John McCain has voiced his opposition to the bill, as well, for which Obama took him to task a little, last Thursday:
I respect Sen. John McCain’s service to our country. He is one of those heroes of which I speak. But I can’t understand why he would line up behind the president in his opposition to this GI bill. I can’t believe why he believes it is too generous to our veterans. I could not disagree with him and the president more on this issue.
Reasonable enough. But McCain thought this was some horseshit:
It is typical, but no less offensive that Senator Obama uses the Senate floor to take cheap shots at an opponent and easy advantage of an issue he has less than zero understanding of. Let me say first in response to Senator Obama, running for President is different than serving as President. The office comes with responsibilities so serious that the occupant can’t always take the politically easy route without hurting the country he is sworn to defend. Unlike Senator Obama, my admiration, respect and deep gratitude for America’s veterans is something more than a convenient campaign pledge. I think I have earned the right to make that claim….
Both Senator Webb and I are united in our deep appreciation for the men and women who risk their lives so that the rest of us may be secure in our freedom. And I take a backseat to no one in my affection, respect and devotion to veterans. And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did….
If you see where Obama hit McCain below the belt with some cheap shot, would you let me know? Cause I just see him saying “I support this vet benefits bill, and I don’t get how a vet wouldn’t support it.” Seems pretty fucking reasonable to me.
QuizLaw remembers what it’s all about…
Happy Memorial Day QuizLaw kiddies. As you know, this is the day where we remember those that have died fighting for our country. Fighting to protect life, liberty and the pursuit of slavery.
What, you thought we didn’t have slavery anymore? Check out the best headline I’ve seen in some time:
Minor leaguer traded for 10 bats.
John Odom, has been traded from the Calgary Vipers to the Laredo Broncos for “10 Prairie Sticks Maple Bats, double-dipped black, 34-inch, C243 style.” Said the Broncos’ manager: “They just wanted some bats, good bats — maple bats.”
Awesome. Just awesome.
…See y’all tomorrow. And, in all seriousness, thanks to our troops. It’s not your fault that you work for an idiot.
You can’t spell “assassinated” without a whole lotta “ass”
If you haven’t heard by now, Hillary invoked RFK’s assassination as a reason why she needs to stay in this race, and some think she was ever so not-subtly implying that someone may try to take Obama out, so we need her around as a backup. When asked about why she’s still in the race, she noted that folks have been urging her to withdraw but that “historically, that makes no sense.” Then she went on to explain history:
My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.
There’s no question that this was a poooooooor choice of words, both given the Obama implications and the fact that it’s been a bad week for Teddy Kennedy. So it’s understandable that folks were pissed, and that Hillary’s campaign quickly tried to do some spin control, eventually having HIllary issue an apology. However, our man of righteous indignation, Keith Olbermann, doesn’t think any of that matters. He’s mad as hell — not sure I entirely agree with the level of his ire, but the underlying sentiment is pretty right:
All your pork and beans are belong to us!!
Weezer’s new video for “Pork and Beans” is mmm-mmm good. I wanted to embed it for your Friday enjoyment but, for some reason, they turned embedding off, making you actually go to the the YouTube page for the video. Phooey. So here’s another video for you instead:
I don’t love you as much as I love Weezer, James Franco, but I’d sniff your jacket anytime!
Woah. Not Cool.
So much for the picture of a glistening Obama with a unicorn. A Georgia newspaper decided, “Hey! Let’s bait the racists!”
Somebody needs to be fired. Pronto.
Police Blotter Files — Killer Trees
From Pennsylvania’s Times Leader:
Police said Andrew R. Tostevin, 19, of Coopersburg, was found hanging upside down from a tree at North Main and North streets at about 12:36 a.m. Thursday. Police said Tostevin told officers that the tree attacked him. Police said Tostevin was heavily intoxicated and was taken to Wilkes-Barre General Hospital.
Funny thing about killer trees: They only attack drunks.
Lessons in Babysitting
Strapped for cash? Gas prices giving you blues? Can’t afford a babysitter?
A Florida mother has been jailed for 20 years for keeping her teenage adopted son in a cage. The 17-year-old weighed 22kg (3st 7lb) when child welfare workers found him in 2005. He suffered from severe medical and emotional problems and his mother, Brenda Sullivan, told a judge at the time that authorities told her to keep the boy in a crib.
But in January she pleaded guilty to three counts of aggravated child abuse. Prosecutors agreed to drop lesser child neglect charges. “There’s only one conclusion when you look at the medical evidence in this case, and that is that she literally starved him,” said prosecutor Julie Schlax. Sullivan’s husband was also arrested but died in January 2007 while awaiting trial.
Two other children, 13-year-old twins the couple adopted as infants, testified that they were also kept in similar cages.
Probably should’ve gotten the poor kid a hamster wheel.
The Daily Memo - 5/23/08, Take Two
Seems I labeled yesterday’s Daily Memo as being the 5/23 Daily Memo. Guess it was just wishful thinking that it was Friday already. But now it is Friday! Hot diggity.
A co-exec producer of “Dog the Bounty Hunter” is suing A&E over money he says the network owes him. “Where’s my five million dollars?!” (Reality Blurred)
Stupid New Jersey Senators … the Giants are a New York team, don’t you know? Even though they play in Jersey. It’s right in their name, man. (ESPN)
Bone up on your Roman history, filibuster style. (Concurring Opinions)
Why yes, Mr. Bush, that’s fucking fascinating. (Legal Antics)
Interesting — a new website is looking to be the Watchmen for PTO examiners. (USPTO Examiners via Patently-O)
A Texas court has said that the state was out of bounds in seizing all the polygamy compound kids. (WSJ Law Blog)
Nice — a Florida judge is recommending that douchebag Jack Thompson be found guilty on a whole mess of misconduct counts. (WWdN: In Exile)
Ever wonder how Congress gets legislation over to the White House? Slate’s got your answers. (Slate)
Heeeeeere I come, to sue the daaaaaaay!
Some company called Man & Machine has filed a lawsuit against Apple and CBS. The fight is over computer mice. Seems that Man & Machine started selling a mouse it called “Mighty Mouse” back in ‘04 — it’s waterproof and chemical-resistant, so it’s good for labs, hospitals and the like. But last year, CBS licensed it’s Mighty Mouse trademark to Apple, which then started using the term in connection with its own mice. And Man & Machine is having none of it.
Trademarks, goods and services, PTO oppositions, blah blah blah. Whatever with all that. The real reason I wrote-up the story was as an excuse for this:
…You’re missed Andy.
Johnny McCain likes the gays. Totally.
McCain was on Ellen Degeneres’ show yesterday to tell her to her face that he doesn’t dig the idea that she’s planning to marry her girlfriend Portia di Rossi. While he’s previously said he’s also against civil unions, however, he couldn’t resist the chance to pander at least a little bit and throw Ellen a bone (not that she’s into that — that’s the whole point!):
Well, my thoughts are that I think people should be able to enter into legal agreements, and I think that is something that we should encourage, particularly in the case of insurance and other areas, decisions that have to be made. I just believe in the unique status of marriage between man and woman.
Whatever.
Meanwhile, Chuck Hagel thinks McCain is saying some stupid shit. Personally, I think “I just believe in the unique status of marriage between man and woman” is a great example of saying some stupid shit.
That’s one small step for man, one giant — hey, get off my moonrock patch! …Damn kids.
The June issue of Popular Mechanics has an interesting article about property rights on the moon. Since 1967’s Outer Space Treaty, nations can’t lay claim to lunar property, but that says nothing about individual private rights. Thirteen countries have signed a Moon Treaty, which does prohibit private ownership rights, but none of the major players in space travel are signatories. So no help there either.
I won’t spoil the rest of the article — if you’re interested, you can go read it. And while we’re talking space, I wanna throw a link out to a great write-up over at Bad Astronomy about astronomers having witnessed the actual kablooey moment of a supernova. Back in my “I’m gonna be an astrophysicist” days, my career was moving towards the study of dying stars, particularly supernovas and pulsars. So I find this story fascinating, and I figure certain select nerds will appreciate reading out this pretty fantastic discovery.
Ok, Science Friday is over. Sorry about that.
If at First You Don’t Succeed, Idiot
You’d think that arrest, jail, the threat of death, and a previous amputation might deter a man from naked wrangling an alligator, but you’d be wrong:
Adrian Apgar, the infamous naked gator wrangler, was arrested Monday and charged with failing to report for a scheduled court date. He was originally charged with trespassing, exposure of sexual organs and breach of the peace in March when deputies found him scratched up, naked and wading toward an alligator in a pond at Saddle Creek Park in Lakeland.
But that wasn’t Apgar’s first run-in with the reptiles.
In November 2006, the same deputies rescued Apgar from the jaws of an alligator in Lake Parker. That gator wrangle left him with a partially amputated arm. The gator also took out several chunks from his side and buttocks.
One word, folks: Florida.
Read It and Weep. Literally.
A man left in excruciating pain after a vasectomy operation has won the right to claim up to £1 million compensation for medical negligence. Daniel Stalker, 51, said he complained three times that the anesthetic had not taken effect but, despite his pleas, the doctor proceeded with the operation.
Mr Stalker, a former soldier, suffered a nerve injury and later agreed to the drastic measure of having his testes removed, but this failed to alleviate the constant pain he has experienced since the operation 12 years ago.
The good news? He’s got a great falsetto now.
Narcissistic Much?
Apparently, earlier this week, Senator Hillary Clinton — who most people have had enough sense to ignore over the last couple of weeks — decided to say something that simply can’t be ignored — she compared seating the Florida and Michigan delegates to the struggle to free the slaves and procure the right to vote for blacks and women.
The difference, I suppose, is that the slaves weren’t fucking United States Senators with more than $100 million in the bank. And I hope to God that Hillary Clinton doesn’t warrant a goddamn Civil War.
Earth to Hillary: Remove your head from your ass. :)
How Great Would This Look on Black Velvet?
The open-shirt, glistening chest of Obama is a nice touch, but the unicorn? Now, that’s just going too far.
The Daily Memo - 5/23/08
The Ninth Circuit may not want to ask, but you should tell them how fabulous you are anyway. (Law.com)
Ah, the statute of limitations for filing a lawsuit…. (LawInfo)
Seems fiar to me — he’s a regular Honorable King David. (Legal Antics)
Alabama, what do you have against Archie the dog? (Supreme Dicta)
Chuck Hagel loves him some Obama. (The Huffington Post)
…Seriously people, I’m trashed as I write this (see ), so I apologize for any druken blogger typos that pop into the mix.
Dammit, there is a delete button for a reason!
Just a day or two after I reported about one dumbass who left child porn on a stolen computer, this comes up in my inbox.
Adam Ward, 33, had just went through a divorce, and now fell behind on payments to his ex-wife. In an effort to get him to pay up, she took his computer. So Adam did what any reasonable person would do: he called the cops.
According to the arrest report, Ward told an investigator that his wife wanted the money that they had agreed on during divorce proceedings. According to Ward his wife said she had all of his computer files and would turn them over. When the investigator asked what was on the files, Ward told him they contained child pornography.
Several days later, investigators searched Ward’s computers and found numerous images of child pornography. When confronted Ward admitted that he had what he called ‘inappropriate material’ and had tried to delete the files after his wife threatened him.
Ward was arrested on 12 counts of possession of child pornography. Investigators said that due to the nature of the images on the computers they asked the judge to double Ward’s bond to $150,000.
No, you didn’t read it wrong. He called the cops and told them there was child porn on there. So no one can say he is a liar on top of everything else. Neither he or his ex seem to have much sense between them in my opinion. At least she had a plan (though why she couldn’t just report him for failing to pay court-ordered monies still mystifies me), and didn’t expect the guy to rat himself out.
By the way, can you guess what state he is from?
A dead man can’t complain
It’s hard to say that anyone is more influential on a person than their parents, but I had a professor and friend in undergrad who comes mighty damn close. I think she’s the single smartest person I’ve ever met. Not book smart — though she was — as much as she just gets things. She’s funny and insightful and well-rounded and I’ve always said if she were a couple decades younger, I would try to, as my grandparents might say, court her.
Anyway, I took a class of hers senior year called “Art, Gender and Ritual” — the kind of shit I never would’ve cared about in college, or probably even now, but for her. And as a result of that class, I learned about the Barnes Foundation, an absolutely fantastic little art institute/museum on the outskirts of Philly. Really cool place. And since the mid-90’s, it’s been involved in a major legal mess. This is because the founder, Albert Barnes (in whose house the institute now resides) set up a detailed trust about how shit would be handled after he died, including that they couldn’t change things around, they had to severely limit admissions, they couldn’t lend out the exhibits or take them on tour, etc.
It’s a fascinating story that is ever-ongoing (Art Held Hostage is an excellent book about the trial and tribulations, through 2003), and I was reminded of it earlier this week thanks to an update post over at the Wills, Trust & Estates Prof Blog, written in light of the most recent judicial opinion. Sadly, it seems that things are moving forward with plans to move the foundation to downtown Philly, around the Philly Art Museum. Great for tourism, great for meaning that more folks will get to see the Foundation and its art, but sad because it’s so against what Barnes wanted and what he stood for from an art and aesthetic perspective.
All of which is to say, if you’re ever in Philly and can get yourself to the Barnes Foundation (even if it has to be at its eventual new home on the Ben Franklin Parkway), do it.
Sumertime, and the living’s easy…
God bless summer associates! I’m writing this at about 12:30 in the morning, when I should be sleeping so I can get up all early tomorrow morning (today morning, as you likely read this, and continue working on a brief, but it was just to difficult leaving the bar when I knew I could chit my credit card bill for booze to the firm since there were summer associates there (yes, I was the most “senior” attorney from the firm there, scary as hell as it might to think that I’m “senior” to anyone).
The point of the story being, there are some perks to working at BigLaw, and it’s not all just about killing babies, though that’s a nice added bonus!
…We have another summer associate happy hour tomorrow night, so while I can’t make any promises, you may just get another random rambling from me tomorrow. God bless the summer associates, god bless them everyone.
Rep. Henry Waxman Loses His Shit …
The reservoir of rage is unleashed at around the 2:00 mark, but the first two minutes do provide some much-needed context. And I have to say, given the evasive, bullshit answers that Waxman was getting, I think he was a little reserved, considering the circumstances.
Vegas Assembly Woman Stabs Husband — Shoe-In for Re-Election
I’m sorry, but this lady rocks. I would totally vote for her. Twice. But I probably wouldn’t marry her.
State Assemblywoman Francis Allen faces a felony charge of stabbing her new husband in the arm with a steak knife and then telling him to call his mother after he asked for help with the wound, according to a police report.
The Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department report says the Republican assemblywoman and her husband of seven weeks, Paul Maineri, got into an argument over the weekend at their home and Maineri was stabbed in the left forearm. Maineri drove himself to a hospital, where his wound was closed with three stitches. Allen told police Maineri cut himself, and when Maineri realized Allen faced arrest he tried to say the same thing, the report adds.
Talk about whipped, man. Not that I blame him — Ms. Allen is scary — scary-sexy.
Want Change? Write Your Local Elected Representative. Or Choke Him. Whichever.
He hates the immigrants. He really hates the immigrants!
A Parkville man charged with threatening in an e-mail to “choke the life out of” Gov. Martin O’Malley has been freed from house detention. However, a Baltimore County judge ordered Tuesday that Walter Abbott cannot possess a gun or be within 500 feet of the governor. Abbott was arrested in March, hours after state police say he sent an e-mail to the governor’s official Web site threatening him with strangulation. He is charged with threatening a public official and conveying a threat.
Police say Abbott disagreed with the governor’s position on immigration. Abbott’s wife, Linda, has said her husband, a construction worker, believes he is losing work to illegal immigrants.
I’m guessing he’s not losing work to immigrants as much as he’s losing work because he’s a goddamn psycho-homicidal freak. There’s just not enough openings for crazy people in the construction industry anymore.
The Daily Memo - 5/21/08
Paper money hates blind people! (Supreme Dicta)
Sorry Judge Posner, I know you’re a smart and important judge guy and all that, but I’m quite happy with my procrastinating ways. (Above the Law)
“Is the government compiling a secret list of citizens to detain under martial law?” (Radar Online)
The Scalia says courtrooms aren’t cocktail parties. All the more reason I think they need to add an open bar, damn it! (Law.com)
Little bitty regional cell phone carriers are asking the FCC to ban exclusive phone deals, so they can get them some iPhones. (Gizmodo)
A New York judge agrees that giving a teacher noogies should get a student a nine day suspensions. Purprle nurples? The jury is still out. (Law.com)
Sounds hilarious
Three employees at Millstone BBQ, in Ohio, have been charged with unlawful restraint after pulling a “prank” on a co-worker. When Rochelle Crockett showed up late for work, she was put into a storage shed, and the three employees (including at least one of management level) beat on the shed and antagonized her.
Crockett’s attorney says Crockett was locked in for 20 minutes while this went on, while the employees say she wasn’t locked in and it was only for about three minutes. They also say she knew it was a joke and came out of the shed laughing. Crockett’s lawyer says Crockett wasn’t so amused, and went to the hospital with panic attacks.
This all comes down to how long she was really in there for. Because three-to-five minutes of torture is just good fun. Five-to-ten minutes … mildly inappropriate. Anything more than that, totally over the top.
Freeeeeeeeedom!
Am I nay speaking English, laddie? Then why canna the wee little court transcriber handle doin her job propa’ly? I dinnae get all dressed up in me finest kilt to come down and here testify just for her to go gettin the words wrong, aye. Ach!
Don’t you know who I am, brother?
“I’m the Hulkster, brother! And when I come into court to testify, my word is bond. And you better watch out brother, because this is my word — when you ask the Hulkster to take off his trademark bandanna and testify with his thinning hair exposed to the world, well that’s when the Hulkster and his Hulkamaniacs will run wild on you brother!”
Thankfully, when the Hulkster was recently in court testifying on his son’s behalf, this speechifying didn’t come to pass because the court didn’t bother to ask him to remove his bandanna, even though head coverings generally aren’t allowed in the courtroom. They say it was because he came in late and there was lots going on. I say it’s cause they were afraid of what the Hulkster would unleash. Brother.
The Anti-Smoking Crazies Go Overboard
In at least one county in Florida, government workers not only suffer from Florida-itis, but their misery will now be compounded by nicotine deprivation:
Smokers looking for work need not apply with the Sarasota County government. On Monday, a tobacco-free hiring policy went into affect for all new job applicants. The policy requires anyone applying for a job with the county to acknowledge that they have not smoked in the last 12 months. All applicants will also be screened for tobacco use during a new-hire physical exam.
If the screening indicates the applicant has the presence of nicotine above a specified amount, the applicant will not be considered for a job. Sarasota County adopted this new policy after years of research revealed the negative effects of nicotine in the workplace. According to the 1997-2001 study, cigarette smoking was responsible for billions in health-related economic losses and a drain on productivity.
You know what else causes “billions in health-related economic losses and a drain on productivity?” Fat people. Why doesn’t Sarasota County prohibit employees from eating fast food, then?
Common Sense Lesson #158
Don’t pee on old people.
The mother of a 13-year-old autistic boy who was banned by a court order from attending services at a Roman Catholic church in Bertha, Minn., woke up Sunday determined to take her son to mass.
But Carol Race changed her mind when Todd County Sheriff Pete Mikkelson met her at the end of her driveway Sunday and told her she would be arrested if she brought her son, Adam, into the Church of St. Joseph.She is scheduled to appear in court today over a citation she received last week for violating the restraining order by taking Adam to church on Mother’s Day.
The Rev. Daniel Walz, who did not return calls left at the Church of St. Joseph parish office, wrote in court documents that Adam’s behavior was “extremely disruptive and dangerous.” He alleged that Adam, who is more than 6 feet tall and weighs over 225 pounds, spits and urinates in church and has nearly injured children and elderly people.
Not included in the article are unsubstantiated reports that the overly litigious church is also suing an Alzheimer’s patient for forgetting to bring donuts to coffee hour.
If All Else Fails, Aim for a Mistrial
What do you do if your defense isn’t going well, and you think it’s your lawyer’s fault? Beat the hell out of two birds with one stone:
William E. Lehman didn’t like the way his trial was going, saying he thought his court-appointed lawyer had “sabotaged” his defense. So he beat him up.
Lehman, 58, of Chisholm, Minn., who was on trial for assault, had asked the judge for a new attorney. The judge said no. After everyone returned from a break, Lehman attacked public defender Mark Groettum from behind, locking his arm around his neck and punching him repeatedly in the face. A chair was knocked over, and both men ended up on the floor. “Blood was all over Groettum, the counsel table and the floor of the courtroom,” according to a court document.
And it all happened in front of the jury, the judge and all the others in the Hibbing courtroom.
This way, he gets a new trial and a new lawyer (plus a few extra charges, which is just the price of doing business).
The Daily Memo - 5/20/08
How do the state courts rank up against each other? (Concurring Opinions)
The SEC is bringing it to a bunch of former AOL execs. (WSJ Law Blog)
Getting out of Jury Duty 101. (Legal Antics)
Could the Supremes be getting a pile of circumcision coming their way? (Supreme Dicta)
Is it better for law students to read edited or unedited judicial opinions? …Depends on the opinions and the course, no? (Concurring Opinions)
The Supremes say “no thanks” to kiddy porn. (NY Times)
But they love themselves some Kentucky municipal bonds. (WSJ)
A Dallas jury has sentenced the fucknut who hocked HIV loogies at folks to 35 years in the clink. (WSJ Law Blog)
Identity Crisis
There’s this company called LifeLock which claims it can protect your identity from all the identity thieving folks out there. And CEO Richard Todd Davis was so confident of his company’s ability that he revealed his Social Security number to the masses just to show how not-worried he was about what people could do with it, with LifeLock on the watch.
Well now a class action lawsuit has been filed against LifeLock claiming false advertising. Among other things, the lawsuit claims that LifeLock couldn’t even keep its CEO’s identity safe:
While LifeLock has only publicly acknowledged that Davis’ identity was compromised on one occasion, there are more than 20 driver’s licenses that have been fraudulently obtained [using his personal information].
Furthermore, a simple background check performed using Davis’ Social Security number reveals that his entire personal profile has been compromised to the extent that the birth date associated with his Social Security number is Nov. 2, 1940, which would [inaccurately] make Davis 67 years old.
It’s no Wade Blasingame commercial, but it’s not bad
Thomas Goldstein is the founder of SCOTUSblog and he currently heads up Akin Gump’s Supreme Court group. From Above the Law I found this little video he’s posted, in the vein of the “have you been hit by a car” lawyer commercials and, for what it is, particularly given that it’s coming from a lawyer (who we all know are comedy geniuses!), it’s amusing enough:
Dang! Foiled again!
Mark Baxter had a plan. He was going to scam his local Circuit City by buying a new Sony VAIO, and then returning the box with his old computer inside. Pretty sneaky, really. Except that he forgot they had his credit card on file.
But the idiocy didn’t stop there, ladies and gents. You see, once the police recovered the merchandise, they wanted to make sure it was still functional.
When [Detective Greg] Kneiss checked the new Sony computer to make sure it hadn’t been tampered with, he found several child porn videos, according to court records.
After examining the computer, the state Attorney General’s Office Computer Forensic Unit found 43 videos of child pornography.
He was arrested and charged with felony counts of sexual abuse of children, criminal use of a communication facility and misdemeanor charges of theft and receiving stolen property.
So, unless Sony has taken factory-installed bundles to some very dark places, Mark’s “genius” plan has bit him in the ass several times over.
McCain Still Leads All Candidates in Sense of Humor
For those of you who missed “SNL” this weekend, you didn’t miss much. Despite it being the season finale, and despite the fact that Steve Carrell hosted, there were only two good skits in the entire show. And both, believe it or not, featured John McCain. And they were political bliss.
Get Up, Stand Up
Matthis Chiroux has been in the army for almost six years, having worked his way up to sergeant. He’s done several foreign tours, including in Afghanistan, and he’s slated to go to Iraq next month. Except he’s not going because, as he explained to Congress last week, he believes we’re involved in an illegal war:
I stand before you today with the strength and clarity and resolve to declare to the military, my government and the world that this soldier will not be deploying to Iraq,…. My decision is based on my desire to no longer continue violating my core values to support an illegal and unconstitutional occupation… I refuse to participate in the Iraq occupation.
His testimony followed that of several other Army and Marine folk who have already done Iraq tours and were there to tell Congress about the troubles this war has caused, from “lawless murders, looting and the abuse of countless Iraqis” to the breaking of soldiers upon their return, leading to anxiety and self-medication.
Chiroux isn’t technically AWOL yet, since he isn’t supposed to report again until June 15. But as of mid-July, he’ll be deemed a deserter, and he’s not planning to run off to Canada as others do, but intends to face whatever the Army throws his way. Good luck, buddy, ‘cause I suspect you’ll need it.
Beef Jerky Bandits Crazy about Dried Meat!
It’s not theft if the cashier won’t take your goddam money. Right?
A man stole three packages of beef jerky from a Fill Ups Food Store on Monday, then chased down the witnesses with his wife before lawmen caught them.
[Leigh Stephen Cann Jr., 22, and his wife, 26-year-old Shannon Kelly Cann,] were at the Fill Ups on Harbor Boulevard when he stole the jerky. They threatened witnesses in the parking lot and then chased them when they fled — all the way to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s station on Stahlman Avenue, where he punched through their car’s window and made verbal threats while she began punching one witness, according to their arrest reports.
A deputy pulled them over at Palmetto Drive and Azalea Drive, where Leigh Cann said, “I attempted to pay for the beef jerky but that [expletive] clerk would not take my money,” the deputy wrote. Shannon Cann resisted arrest and struck the deputy during the arrest.
I can attest to this fact: Sometimes, when you’re trying to step into a Slim Jim, there is a tendency to get carried away.
The Daily Memo - 5/19/08
The Motherboard Wars are impending, as ASUS is planning to sue Gigabyte for defamation and a disinformation campaign. (Engadget)
A delivery man is back in court trying get a bite of $156 million he says Howard Hughes promised him after the man rescued the reclusive, crazy billionaire. (LawInfo)
A wife is suing her husband for a piece of his $600K lottery winnings. (WT&E Prof Blog)
What could the DOJ wind up looking like this time next year? (WSJ Law Blog)
A Senate panel has approved a bill which would allocate over $1 billion (over eight years) to fight online kiddy porn and other related crimes. (News.com)
Some Senators are asking the FBI to explain some subpoena shenanigans related to the Internet Archive. (Wired)
Here’s 10 ways you might be breaking the law with your computer right now! (TechRepublic)
Our long national nightmare is over folks! The two year ban against foie gras in Chicago has been repealed. (Chicago Sun-Times)
Aw, leave the poor old guy alone…
Sure, the Straight Talk Express might take a detour every once and while, but that’s just so we can enjoy the scenery.
The QuizLaw Mailbag
Got a few links in the ol’ mailbag last week which I didn’t have time to get to. Stupid real world job, and all that. So let’s get ‘em now.
First, a publicist for the Washington Post sent a link to a story about how our wonderful government forcibly drugs some folks getting deported so that they’ll be nice and sedated for their going away trip. The “pre-flight cocktail” is an antipsychotic drug that leaves some folks so conked out that they have to be boarded on a wheelchair. I can’t say this is surprising, since detainees waiting for deportation have less “rights” than us citizen types, and the Bush government doesn’t give a flick about our rights to begin with, let alone the rights of some detainees. But it doesn’t make it any less appalling. And my favorite part of the article is where it talks about how the government recruits the nurses that travel with sedated deportees by using newsletters asking things like: “Do you ever dream of escaping to exotic, exciting locations?” …I love our government.
Next up, reader Julie V. sent us a link to an awesome story about a Texas 13-year-old who’s been convicted of fraud for using his father’s credit card to order hookers as a celebration for winning a “World of Warcraft” tournament. Which, as Julie points out, is even more awesome when you look at the end of the story, which concludes with the fact that the kid’s “ambition is to one day become a politician.”
And lastly, reader Eric O. sends us a link to what he calls the “best Chris Matthews moment since Zell Miller.” If you missed this last week, Matthews had it out with Kevin James, who’s some right wing radio host. You can read about it over at The Huffington Post, and you can watch it right here (I love how Matthews is so amused that he just keeps falling into silent laughter):