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What’s the point of being a judge if you can’t say shit like this?

viagra.jpgA Magistrate Judge in West Virginia is fighting a suspension recently handed down by a judicial panel by going to the state’s Supreme Court. He’s hoping that the WV Supremes don’t mind when judges sexually harass folks from the bench. Because, apparently, Magistrate Alvie Qualls likes him some benchial harassment.

According to a brief filed with the court on behalf of the panel, five women testified at a hearing in February that Qualls made inappropriate sexual comments to them at the courthouse.
One witness testified that Qualls told her that he would need “a gallon of Viagra to keep up with her,” the brief states. He also told her that when he used to work as a constable, women who couldn’t pay for tickets would get out of them by performing oral sex on him, according to the brief.

Actually, I’m tempted to feel a little bad for Judge Qualls, as the 78-year-old has some physical and mental issues, and even spent a hunk of time in March living in the courthouse. Maybe the state Supremes should cut the guy a break and just give him a gallon jug of Viagra, you know? After all, a happy judge is a fair judge.