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Police Blotter Files — Killer Trees

pblovelessemails.jpgFrom Pennsylvania’s Times Leader:

Police said Andrew R. Tostevin, 19, of Coopersburg, was found hanging upside down from a tree at North Main and North streets at about 12:36 a.m. Thursday. Police said Tostevin told officers that the tree attacked him. Police said Tostevin was heavily intoxicated and was taken to Wilkes-Barre General Hospital.

Funny thing about killer trees: They only attack drunks.

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And girls in blue gingham dresses and sparkly red shoes.

And teenage wizards who steal flying cars.