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Monthly Archives: February 2008
How I Envy Oregon Voters
… who have an opportunity for vote for Steve Novick. Check out his party trick!
And he’s short, too!
Hey Ma! Look! My Pubes!
Here’s some advice to our readers out there in QuizLaw land, and listen good: Don’t ever fuck with a restaurant cook. You’d think this would be obvious; you’d think it was just common sense. If your food sucks, eat it anyway. Or don’t. But don’t send it back. For the love of God, don’t ever send it back. You never know what you’ll get in return, but more times than not, there will be something in your food — saliva, semen, trace amounts of excrement —- that you shouldn’t be putting in your mouth.
Of course, most of the time, cooks/waitresses are smart enough not to make it obvious. Not so with a Wisconsin man, Ryan Kropp, a Texas Roadhouse cook who became displeased with a customer when the customer insisted on sending his steak back. Kropp refused to comp him, but he was nice enough to make him a new steak to send home. With his public hairs inside.
The customer took the steak to the po-po, and now poor Kropp — who was just doing what human nature requires — is facing three-and-a-half years prison. Apparently, placing foreign objects in edibles is a felony. But don’t think that’s going to dissuade your cook.
Hypocrisy …
… thy name is douchebag (R-GA).
The Daily Memo - 2/29/08
“In a landmark judgement with far-reaching social implications, Italy’s highest appeals court has ruled it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public.” (guardian.co.uk)
Ah Philly, I miss you more and more every day — this time, it’s because twin brothers who do online hardcore gay porn have been arrested for a rooftop burglary, and suspected of having done dozens more. (FindLaw)
And again in Philly, a woman got a $12 million verdict because two of her doctors failed to diagnose her terminal breast cancer until it was past the stage of being curable. (Law.com)
Suing those who schtupp your significant others? Discuss amongst yourselves. (LawInfo)
The Bluebook is online! The Bluebook is online! Great news, or the greatest news? (WT&E Prof Blog)
Why do BigLaw associates run for the hills after three to four years? Because that’s how long it generally takes to learn that even gads of money aren’t worth indentured servitude. (Law.com
I don’t like to laugh at the pain of others…
…but what the hell else am I supposed to do when MSNBC gives me a headline like this:
Ex-Homecoming Queen Beats Sister with Fake Leg in Trailer
It gets even better when you read the article. Our queen also threatened to burn down a neighbor’s home during the incident. And she’s got quite a few prior arrests under her belt, including two DUI convictions. But here’s the clincher — during one of her DUI arrests, she was so shit-faced that she took the term literally and, while in the back of the cop car, she apparently smeared poo all over the car.
I wonder if Norwin High School has tried to get their crown back yet.
Florida - it’s like Italy, only with worse food and more old people
I mean, seriously, check this shit out:
A Florida lawyer has been charged with assault after shaking hands with a federal prosecutor. … Kathy Brewer Rentas is accused of shaking hands too vigorously.
Italy - it’s like Florida, only with better food and less old people
I mean, seriously, check this shit out:
A 34-year-old Italian man who had sex with a 13-year-old girl has had his sentence cut by a two-thirds because a court decided there was “real love” between the pair.
Yup — the court bought the argument of his lawyers, the there was “deep tenderness” between the perv and the little girl, an so Antonio de Pascale only got a sentence of a little over a year. For having sex with a 13-year-old!
Better/worse yet — because Italy has a general amnesty for sentences of less than three years, he may not even serve a single day.
It’s a Good Thing Rodney King wasn’t Black AND Quadriplegic
A few weeks ago, we showed you video of the Hillsborough, Florida police harshly dumping a quadriplegic out of his wheelchair, thinking — I suppose — that he was faking it. There was an investigation and, ultimately, I believe the police department apologized.
I don’t think they meant it.
Why?
Because cops at the very same prison did the same fucking thing to another wheelchair inmate. After discovering that a quad serving a 10-year-prison sentence had a crack pipe, the fuzz took the man to a holding cell and dumped him out of his wheelchair, leaving him there for over an hour (this guy, who tried to stab an officer with the glass crack pipe, may have arguably deserved it a little).
My favorite part: The incident report, which stated that deputies then “relocated Rayburn from his wheelchair to the holding cell floor.” Relocated? Ha! You can see the video here.
This is also the third case of alleged abuse at the jail in the last two weeks. In between the wheelchair dumping incidents, the cops also broke a woman’s arm. Here’s the video of that:
The True Cost of War
I found a fascinating article in the UK Guardian written by a Noble-prize winning economist about the cost of the Iraq war for America, and it’s kind of mind boggling. He estimates that, all told, the war will cost America $3 trillion, and about the same for the rest of the world. Here’s a taste of some of the more eye-popping figures:
$16bn The amount the US spends on the monthly running costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - on top of regular defence spending
$138 The amount paid by every US household every month towards the current operating costs of the war.
$19.3bn The amount Halliburton has received in single-source contracts for work in Iraq.
$25bn The annual cost to the US of the rising price of oil, itself a consequence of the war.
$5bn Cost of 10 days’ fighting in Iraq.
$1 trillion The interest America will have paid by 2017 on the money borrowed to finance the war.
3% The average drop in income of 13 African countries - a direct result of the rise in oil prices. This drop has more than offset the recent increase in foreign aid to Africa.
The article then adds this, by way of context:
Stiglitz and Bilmes list what even one of these trillions could have paid for: 8 million housing units, or 15 million public school teachers, or healthcare for 530 million children for a year, or scholarships to university for 43 million students. Three trillion could have fixed America’s social security problem for half a century.
Can you believe that? We could’ve funded 15 million school teachers for the cost of a meaningless war. But the number that pops out at me the most is that each family in America is spending $138 per month on the war effort — I’m not a mathematician, but that is, like, about one percent of the average income earner’s salary, right? And thanks to the Iraq war, that $138 would only be enough to fill your car tank full of gas twice a month.
Moreover, while the average soldier makes $40,000 a year, the average contracted security guard makes $400,000 a year in Iraq — and because of high health insurance premiums, the government is picking up the tab on the contractor’s health insurance, too.
George Bush has fucked us even more than I imagined. Anyway, do check out the article. It’s eye opening, to say the least.
Another Reason to Stock Up on Duct Tape
We here at QuizLaw are always on the lookout for all the great uses of duct tape. You can use it for babysitting! You can use it for kidnapping! You can use it to conceal your face before committing a robbery!
And today, we learned yet another valuable use for duct tape: Suicide. Simply remove a couple of strips, tape them over your mouth and nostrils, and within minutes, you’ll suffocate to death!
You’re welcome!
The Daily Memo - 2/28/08
“Why the cops who shot Sean Bell aren’t getting judged by their peers.” (Slate)
Ok, look, I know The Signal is a scary movie and all, but that’s no reason to go and stab some folks. (LAist)
Man, I’ll tell ya - that OJ Simpson, he just never gets a break from the judicial system. (FindLaw)
Verbal contracts, schmerbal contracts. (May It Please the Court)
Deal … or no deal? “Uhm, is class-action lawsuit an option?” (Nota Bene)
Judges citing “South Park?” Yeah, that’s mmmmmmkay with me. (Supreme Dicta)
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the corner weeping over the poor partners and their lower profits-per-partner because they’re paying us associates more money. (WSJ Law Blog)
“Luke, I am your mayor.”
A Mayor in Australia is now serving a jail sentence, having lost an appeal seeking to overturn his conviction. That conviction? False accounting and theft from the city council. What he falsely accounted and stole? Almost three grand worth of stuff, including a refrigerator, women’s underwear and a Darth Vader voice modulator.
What’d the Australian teacher’s five fingers say to the student’s face?
Oh, come on - he’s just a romantic!
Sixty-year-old Warren Robinson was already having a bad day, coming into court to face a domestic violence charge. But things got worse when he wound up being arrested and charged with bribery. That’s because, when he showed up for his hearing, he handed an envelope to Judge Charles Cofer’s assistant. In the envelope was $100 and a three page letter asking for his case to be dismissed
During the first hearing on the bribery charge, the judge made light of the offer, asking the prosecutor: “How much favoritism did he reasonably feel he’d receive for only $100? … Was this more an inappropriate gesture than bribery?”
But here’s the thing — the note in the envelope also said:
Please accept this little token of gratitude and appreciation towards me. P.S. Take your wife out to dinner on me on Valentine’s Day.
So, what — a wife-beater can’t try to spark a little romance for a judge and his wife? What’s our world coming too?
Woah! McCain’s Daughter is a Hottie
Meghan McCain, ladies and gentleman. Total cutie, but a bit on the Valley Girl side.
The Going Rate for Copping a Kiddie Feel? $5
Were these teachers simply dumb, or was there something more sinister at work:
A class of third-grade students at a western Kentucky elementary school was searched by a group of teachers after an envelope containing $5 disappeared, a school official said.
The students at Martin Luther King Elementary in Hopkinsville were asked to remove their shoes and socks during the search. School officials say four teachers had physical contact with the 17 students, and some were patted down.”The way they treat our students is ridiculous,” said Zlatko Skuljan, the father of a 9-year-old girl in the class.
What the hell? Pat downs for a $5 bill? How hard do you have to pat a kid down to determine if there is a slip of paper beneath the fabric? Why don’t you just ask the kids to empty their goddamn pockets? Man, I’d be pretty pissed if I was a parent, too.
Sh*t or Get off the Pot
Somebody really had to take a leak:
An 18-year-old man suffered five stab wounds to the stomach in a fight over how long he was taking in the bathroom of a home in the Linda Vista area, authorities said Tuesday. An argument between the victim and a 28-year-old man who lived at the home escalated into a fight in which three of the man’s friends jumped in and began fighting with the victim, Dare said.
A friend of the victim, a 41-year-old man, came to his aid and the two armed themselves with sticks, Dare added. During the fight, the man who lived at the home and his friends threw bottles at the victim and his friend, and one armed himself with a knife and stabbed the victim five times in the stomach, he said.
Damn! You know what you do when they won’t get out of the restroom? Pee in the sink, motherfucker. There’s considerably less bloodshed.
Worst Job Ever?
Idaho Senator Larry Craig is currently seeking intern applications for the summer term, which runs from May to August. The application deadline is March 15, however if more time is needed for the application process, please contact Senator Craig’s office for an extension.
‘“Interns have the chance to be an essential part of a working congressional office,” said Craig. “They participate in the legislative process as well as ensure that constituent services run smoothly. For those interested in politics, it is an incredible opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at how our government functions while serving the people of Idaho.”
It’s the “behind the scenes” part, actually, that troubles me the most.
The Daily Memo - 2/27/08
The Jim Davis estate Jim Davis will probably make this guy take this site down at some point, but it turns out that the Garfield comic strip is actually kinda fantastic if you just get rid of the lazy, fat, lasagna loving cat. (garfield minus garfield)
Don’t cry for the disbarred PI lawyer, Argentina, because he’s got a freaking $35 million mansion. (Above the Law)
What’s the deal with that cookbook plagiarism lawsuit? (FindLaw)
What’s the deal with law school grading curves? (WSJ Law Blog)
Note to self — if I ever make counterfeit $100 bills, don’t put Lincoln on them. (WSOCTV)
A woman has been charged with arson, and she says that she burned the building in question down because she was just tired of looking at it. (KXXI)
I don’t get it, but a Washington state prosecutor is pissed off at Massachusetts because violent ex-cons leave MA to come kill people in WA. (Boston Herald)
Even if it’s been shut down for a while, you probably don’t want to break into a police station to steal shit. (WISTV)
“…and a bag of chips, and some sodas, and this gum, andthesecondoms, and a Snickers bar…”
Sure, guys can be nervous the first time they have to go get themselves a rubber. They hit the local 7-11 or CVS and purchase $50 worth of crap to cover up their condom purchase. Or, their first box of condoms surreptitiously winds up in the bottom of a backpack, because the embarrassment of getting busted for shoplifting is infinitely preferable to the embarrassment of buying rubbers (and so strong is male teenage lust, that they don’t think about the embarrassment of getting caught stealing condoms).
An Ohio man really let the hormones and embarrassment get to his head, and took shit to another level. A convenience store was held up by a guy holding a semiautomatic pistol. He asked the clerk to hand over a bunch of money and, perhaps trying to sneak it under the radar, also asked for a single condom. I mean, just imagine — so nervous about buying rubbers that even though you’re about to walk out of a convenience store with a pocket full of cash, you just have to get that lone rubber thrown in as well. That, ladies, is the male mind.
The gosh darn best insurance company this side of hell
Speaking of health insurance, 52-year-old Patsy Bates just got a hefty $9 million verdict against her former health insurance company, Health Net Inc. Back in 2005, she was undergoing cancer treatments when Health Net decided, “nah, we don’t want to keep paying for this nonsense,” canceling her policy and leaving with over $100,000 in unpaid bills (lucky for her, a state-funded program covered her treatments so she didn’t, you know, die).
And this Health Net place is shady as fuck. It’s admitted that it ran a program in 2002 and 2003 where it illegally paid bonuses as incentives to administrators who hit a target number of policy cancellations. And it’s also being sued by the L.A. city attorney for allegedly canceling 1,600 insurance policies illegally.
Health Net! A better decision, indeed.
I’m going to have words with my company!
In Pennsylvania, the state mailed out about 40,000 postcards to retired state workers telling them about some changes to their health benefits, changes which might not make them happy. A variety of health plan offerings were listed, along with phone numbers which could be called for more information.
But folks who called the number listed for the Advantra Freedom plan found that, instead of talking to an insurance rep or someone equally knowledgeable with all things health insurance, they were calling a phone sex line.
Seriously, why doesn’t my health plan include phone sex? That shit does wonders for your spiritual well being, you know. Shit should be included, with at least an 80/20 payment sharing, right?
… because there’s not enough road rage as it is …
A Florida representative, Donald Brown (who I believe is a ranking member of the Dipshit Party) has filed a bill asking the state to add a “Confederate Heritage” license plate to the arsenal of specialty license tags in the state. The extra $25 fee for the plate — which would give motorists a way to “show pride in their heritage” — would go to the Sons of Confederate Veterans to honor those who had great-great grandparents who fought hard to keep slavery alive.
Jesus Christ: Why doesn’t the guy just ask the state to add a “I Hate Black People” license plate while he’s at it. Six of one, half-dozen of the other.
Drooooooooooool!
Note to self: Next time I’m strapped to a gurney, resist urge to drool.
An FDNY emergency medical technician turned the Hippocratic Oath on its ear, slugging a restrained patient in the face during a ride to Kings County Hospital, a $2 million suit alleges.
Dennis Mathis, 25, was strapped onto a stretcher last Dec. 1 when he incurred the wrath of an EMT by drooling on him, according to the suit.
“My son was face down and the EMS worker was trying to put an oxygen mask on him, and I heard him yelling and screaming that he was choking,” said Mathis’ distraught mother, Stephanie Bethean.
What the suit doesn’t say, however, is why the patient was drooling: Apparently, Ryan Reynolds was walking by. I hope this guy doesn’t have children; I’d hate to see what he did to a teething infant.
Duck duck goose
A train conductor for CSX Transportation is now suing the company for negligence after an accident in a railyard. Aaron Richards was performing a brake test on a train when things went bad.
You might be thinking that the brakes failed, causing the train to wreck. …You’d be wrong.
You might be thinking that the brakes worked too well, causing Richards to lurch forward and injure himself. …You’d still be wrong.
You might be thinking that he was inspecting the train when a goose attacked him. …You’d be right.
Richards says that CSX knew that this goose nested in the train yards, and was therefore negligent in not protecting him when the fiercest of the animal kingdom sprung out from underneath a train and attacked him so viciously that he fell right the fuck over.
When asked for comment, the goose in question said: “Yeah, I attacked the guy. I feast on the blood of humans, what can I say?”
And You Thought Your Labor Contractions Were Bad
Ladies: I know how hard it is to deliver a child into the world; I’ve seen it, without drugs (my wife didn’t have them either). I know about the “ring of fire.” It didn’t look like a pleasant experience. Believe you me, I could never be a woman — I could never imagine my pelvic bones shape shifting.
But can you imagine what it might be like to give birth to a baby while you’re hanging from a tree!
A pregnant woman in Papua New Guinea who was hung from a tree after being accused of sorcery gave birth to her baby while struggling to free herself.
Nolan Yekum and her husband Paul were dragged from their house and hung from a tree by fellow tribesmen who accused them of sorcery after the couple’s neighbour suddenly died.
Errrr — If you can give birth while hanging from a rope, I don’t think that sorcery charge is too off the mark.
The Daily Memo - 2/26/08
Do Californians want to get high? (The Chronic Corner)
Mmmm … sexual corruption scandal in Australia. (Independent.co.uk)
Prostitutes of the world Canada, unite! (stuff.co.nz)
A Cali state Senator representing parts of LA and surrounding areas has submitted a bill seeking to protect various factions of the entertainment industry because, well, Cali loves it some Hollywood. (LAist)
You know what? Even if the guy wasn’t actually mentally ill, doesn’t he deserve credit for smearing shit on his face and slicing his wrists in the courtroom anyway? (SPTimes)
Guys showing up to their DUI hearings drunk is old hat. But showing up plastered? That’s fantastic. (Jacksonville Journal-Courier)
A dude got busted for running a major marijuana grow house when a clerk noticed that the cash he used to pay his taxes stunk of skunk. (KGW)
Them’s Fightin’ Words!
I fucking love this: The presidential campaign has provoked a stabbing! From to the Smoking Gun:
According to cops, Jose Antonio Ortiz (pictured), 28, stabbed Sean Shurelds last Thursday night in the kitchen of an Upper Providence Township home. According to a criminal complaint, the 41-year-old Shurelds, an Obama supporter, told Ortiz that the Illinois senator was “trashing” Clinton (apparently in regard to recent primary and caucus results). Ortiz, a Clinton supporter, replied that “Obama was not a realist.” While not exactly fighting words, the verbal political tiff led to some mutual choking and punching. And, allegedly, a stabbing in the abdomen. Ortiz, pictured in the mug shot below, was charged with a felony aggravated assault count and two misdemeanors and jailed in lieu of $20,000 bail.
You just knew the Clinton supported was gonna play dirty, didn’t you? Leave it to a Hillaryite to pull out a knife.
Look ma - one hand!
Last week, a Florida man got himself good and drunk. And this Leroy Meredith, well, he knows how to have a good time when he’s three sheets to the wind — so he did what any good drunk Floridian does:
Titusville police said Leroy Meredith climbed a lookout tower in Chain of Lakes Park … he then took off all his clothes and began urinating.
But god bless Mr. Meredith — he kept drinking all the while, and was still tossing back the beer when the cops showed up.
Needless to say, Meredith has a fine indecent exposure charge coming his way, and probably some public drunkenness to top things off.
Wang + Urinal Sensors = Not What You Think
In Taiwan, Wang Chi-sheng was recently busted stealing a urinal sensor from the restroom of a closed gas station. The first question is, of course, why the hell Wang would want to steal a urinal sensor.
According to what he told the cops escorting him out of the gas station, he planned to use the sensor to test out some sort of design he has for improving his Mercedes. The cops laughed at this, and a local Mercedes technician says Wang’s plan was “unbelievable,” with a zero probability of success.
But the more important question here is, what in the hell is Wang doing in his car that he needs it custom fit with urinal sensors in the first place? Maybe he’s building a new version of K.I.T.T.
“Michael, I believe you are pissing yourself.”
…Actually, given Hasselhoff’s current condition of late, he very well might need a car to tell him when he’s pissing himself.
In Case You Missed It …
Mike Huckabee actually managed to be funny on “SNL” over the weekend. Like, for reals.
In other late-night political video goodness, has anyone seen John McCain’s “Secrets” series on Conan O’Brien? This guy is the presumptive Republican nominee, and he’s making cheap — but hilarious — jokes on a late-night talk show. Reagan never would’ve done this; in fact, I think it’s Bob Dole’s self-deprecating sense of humor after his loss in 1992 which opened the door for other G.O.P. candidates to actually show their funny side. The Republicans may get walloped in November (rightfully so), but so far anyway, they’re a lot more amusing. Check it out:
Nader Throws Hat in Ring; Forgets To Take It Off First
Everything this man has been widely respected for, and his once decent reputation, continues to plunge into an abyss of self-indulgence.
Consumer activist Ralph Nader launched an independent campaign for the White House on Sunday, criticizing the Republican and Democratic candidates for not addressing issues “that are supported by a majority of the American people.”
“You go from Iraq to Palestine/Israel, from Enron to Wall Street, from Katrina to the bungling of the Bush administration, to the complicity of the Democrats in not stopping him on the war, stopping him on the tax cuts, getting a decent energy bill through,” he told NBC’s “Meet the Press,” and you have to ask yourself, as a citizen: Should we elaborate the issues that the two [parties] are not talking about?”
Give it up, Ralpie. Every time you run, you lose a little more credibility. Nobody wants to vote for your ass, man. Go lobby for some better car safety regulations and leave the politicking to those who have a goddamn chance. Numnuts.
Max Karson: First Amendment Champion or Fucktard II
Max Karson, our favorite First Amendment douchebag, is back in the news this week. Last year, some may recall that — the day after the Virginia Tech shootings — Karson, when asked about how he felt in one of his University of Colorado classes, stated “if anyone in here says that they’ve never been so angry that you wanted to kill 32 people, you’re lying,” and that he was “angry about all kinds of things, from fluorescent light bulbs to the unpainted walls, and it made him angry enough to kill people.” Karson was also reportedly asked: “Would you kill all of us?” His response: “No. Not all of you.”
Karson — who has a history of free speech douchebaggery — was suspended but, apparently, he made it back, because this year he’s a student editor for the college newspaper. This week, he wrote a column for the paper which, once again, prompted an apology from the school’s administration. The piece in question was titled, “If it’s war the Asians want … It’s war they’ll get.”
In his commentary, Karson called for all Asians to be rounded up for a “reformation” that involves forcing them to drink, dance and eat bad sushi.
“They hate us all,” Karson wrote. “And I say it’s time we started hating them back.”
The piece, which was rife with Asian stereotypes, obviously offended a large segment of the student population. It was, as the administration wrote, “a poor attempt at satire.”
I see where Karson is coming from, and I even appreciate his testicle size, to an extent. He has a history, dating all the way back to high school in Massachusetts, of writing or saying horribly offensive things and using the First Amendment to excuse them; his father, an attorney, always saves the day, too. And while I applaud the sentiment, I don’t know why the dude has to be such a tool bag to get his point across. It smacks of sophomorism and that sort of misguided shock wankery that attention whores indulge in (I oughtta know).
But there are better ways to defend the First Amendment without being a racist jackass or terrifying half your classmates. And I’m hoping that Karson eventually uses his obvious writing talent toward something positive, rather than trying to make a stupid point that doesn’t need making in the first place.
High School Pranks - Let’s Hear Some Stories!
Earlier this month, in Northeast High School in Philly, some kids went into the school over the weekend and unleashed dozens of chickens and hens. Hilarious? Not so much. But definitely amusing. Although it wasn’t so amusing to the school, which had to cancel classes that Monday and spend a nice bit of money cleaning it all up. While security cameras have video of those responsible for the senior prank, they were wearing hoodies, and investigations into kids buying chickens and laying hens haven’t turned up any strong leads.
That reminds me of a senior prank that took place my senior year where, right in the middle of a May school day, five guys in black, complete with ski masks, started running through the halls, hucking eggs into classrooms and, occasionally, at the more tortured and abused students. It was sorta amusing, although you had to feel bad for the poor kids who themselves got egged. It was also really stupid, because the five guys in question were all football players, and despite the ski masks, were pretty identifiable. One dude, who had to be a good 250 if he was a pound, also had this pin-sized head, so everyone knew who he was immediately. Not the best laid plan. They weren’t arrested or charged with anything, I don’t think, but they were banned from graduation.
When my mom was in high school, she said that some seniors pulled off the oft-talked about prank of putting a cow up on the school roof (although I think she said they managed to get it down without having to helicopter it off, despite the fact that cows supposedly can’t walk down stairs).
Got any good senior prank stories? Please share.
The Daily Memo - 2/25/08
If Barack gets the nomination, is his vice-presidential candidate likely to die on election night? (North Star Writers Group)
Apple and Starbucks are finding themselves on the backend of a patent dispute. (Gizmodo)
The IRS is suing Nic Cage because he allegedly tried to write off over a million bucks in personal expenses between 2002 and 2004, and the IRS thinks he owes them some coin. (Zap2It)
A fantastic recitation of facts from an unpublished 1995 Illinois decision gives me major flashback to my nerdy D&D days. (Above the Law)
For our law student readers, a head’s up — next year, you 2Ls are going to have to be quicker in accepting summer associate offers. (Law.com)
Represenative Rick Renzi (R-AR) just had a 26-page federal indictment opened on his ass, an indictment for extortion, wire fraud and money laundering, among other bad things, revolving around a sale of land in Arizona. (The Raw Story)
The “most Dictalicious circuit in the country” turns its opinions to meth cases involving a guy living and cooking in a rented storage unit. (Supreme Dicta)
A great holiday, or the greatest holiday?
You can have your President’s Day and Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that. Whatever. Because deep down, you know that St. Patty’s Day is truly the best holiday of the year. Trouble being, of course, that it’s not actually a national holiday.
Well Guiness would like to change that with “Proposition 3-17,” an online petition looking for a million signatures between now and March 16th. Of course, this is nothing more than a marketing and publicity stunt, but it’s working, because I’m linking to it and talking about it, aren’t I?
But here’s the thing — it’s not St. Patrick’s Day that we need to be a national holiday. Rather, we need National Day After St. Patrick’s Day, because that’s the day we really need off work. At least, if we’re celebrating properly.
(And in related news, it seems that places like my home state of Pennsylvania are finally starting to get rid of their idiotic beer laws.)
Florida Gets Something Right!
We’ve talked about Florida attorney Jack Thompson a couple of times on this site. He’s the asshat who blames everything bad in the world on video games, who submitted gay porn to a court, and who got into a comment fight with fellow blawger Alan Childress. During that battle, he proudly pronounced: “I’m not going to be disbarred. Deal with it.”
Well the Florida Supreme Court may not be ready to disbar him just yet, but they’re still not too happy with him. Last week the Florida Supremes issued what’s called an Order to Show Cause, requiring Thompson to come before them by March 5 to explain “why this Court should not find that you have abused the legal system process and impose upon you a sanction for abusing the legal system” because of the “numerous frivolous and inappropriate filings” he has submitted. That sanction would include a mandate that Thompson not file anything with the Florida courts unless another Florida attorney signs the pleading.
Awesome.
And Thompson issued his usual piss-and-vinegar douchebag response, saying:
This is the single greatest gift that any court has ever given me in my 31 years of practicing law. I shall now, through a new federal lawsuit, deconstruct The Florida Bar…
Thank you, Supremes! You have given me the weapons I need.
Better yet, he also said:
This is a brazen attempt by this court to repeal the absolute right of every citizen, under the First Amendment, to “petition the government for a redress” of grievances…
The [Florida] Bar threatens a whistleblower with retribution because he dares to keep blowing the whistle? This court has threatened Thompson. He does not threaten back. He hereby informs this court that he will see it in federal court. This court has just thrown Brer Rabbit into the briar patch.
If Thompson is Brer Rabbit, I hope he repeatedly pricks himself in that patch.
(Hat tip to Gamer Andy for the image.)
Frakking Hell
This is some bullshit right here. If I told you a legal blog was going to interview the producers of “Battlestar Galactica,” you’d just assume QuizLaw was the blog in question, right? I mean, our sister site does TV reviews and I’m the god damned TV Whore for Christ’s sake. And yet, we’re not the legal blog hosting audio interviews with Ron Moore and David Eick. No sir. Instead, that honor goes to Concurring Opinions, a collective of law professors and other legal wonks.
Bollocks!
One of the interviewers is even a cat I went to high school with, and who was my debate partner and co-captain in high school (yes, Mildred, I was a fucking nerd in high school). Anyway, they’ve got the first two parts of their interview up now, and they’ll be posting the other two parts of their interview today and tomorrow. …Bastards.
…On the road to victory!
As with many of our Friday videos, this has nothing to do with the law. Except that it should maybe be illegal for one’s precious memories of some of their favorite childhood athletes to be tainted so.
Man, kicker Luis Zendajas needs to be on “American Idol” post haste. That guy’s got it all!
Hattip to The 700 Level.
Run For Your Lives! You’re Already Dead!
I sort of thought the GOP had backed off a little from their fear-mongering tactics, what with Barack Obama’s hope kryptonite eating away at their effectiveness. I guess I was wrong; they’ve got a new ad running kvetching about expiration of The Protect America Act that basically steals whole cloth scenes and adverts from “24”. As Glen Glenwald at Salon.com amusingly writes:
The ad uses the typing-in-progress computer font and a Heritage-like stopwatch counting the seconds before we’re all dead, as popularized by “24” and scary Terrorist movies … The whole thing is set to blood-pumping, They’re-coming!! music. It’s very uplifting, very exciting, and not at all manipulative or exploitive. We just need to be safe. That’s all that matters. Please, anything for that. Spy on us with no warrants. Give everything to the telecom industry that they demand. Just please protect us in your strong and loving arms.”
Glenwald has also dug up clips from Season 7 of “24” to show the style and substance similarities, but if you just want to watch the video and judge for yourself, here it is — try to refrain from running to the nearest bunker when it’s over:
But your honors, it looks like a dead snail!
In Minnesota, the Court of Appeals has ruled that a mother can’t sue the local hospital for medical malpractice just because she doesn’t like the way her son’s wee-wee looks following a circumcision.
Seems that mommy checked the “cut my son” box on her prenatal form, which of course gives the hospital authorization to remove his turtle neck. But her lawyer says she should’ve been consulted before the snip anyway because “isn’t the mom allowed to change her mind?”
Shut up, asshat. This simply sounds like a mother looking to get a payday off her poor kid’s little manhood (and she already settled her lawsuit with the doctor — a lawsuit claiming assault, battery and negligence — so she has probably already pocketed some coin she doesn’t deserve).
The Daily Memo - 2/22/07
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains. “Lazarus had it easy. Not so for Laura Todd, who has been trying to come back from the dead for nearly a decade.” (Concurring Opinions)
Man, I miss Philly TV. (Law.com)
Don’t just arrest the paparazzi —- if there’s anyone deserving of a good tasing, bro, it’s these guys. (FindLaw)
The latest in law school students proving that law school students are a pain in the ass. I mean, so what if the dean was a little funny with the money and the grades and all that. (WSJ Law Blog)
Man, I would pay tons of money to watch Sly Stallone on the witness stand. (Lawinfo)
The NFL loves the churches now because, well, everyone knows there’s no football in hell. (Overlawyered)
“Kirkland & Ellis: We love minorities! (But don’t dare take us to court if you are one.)” Hee-hee. At my real job, we’ve been schooling Kirkland a little lately, so stories like this just make me titter. (Above the Law)
Jon Stewart on Election ‘08
… because he always says it better than anyone else.
Well at least he didn’t beat her
Gina Boyd was driving with her 3 year-old-daughter when things got bad. We’re talking little girl puking in in a Dodge Caravan bad. So Boyd understandably tried to rush home, making an illegal U-turn in the process.
A cop happened to see this and pulled her over. That part’s understandable. But when Boyd explained that the reason for the incident was the, you know, puking, the cop didn’t bat an eye and gave her a $123 citation anyway. Sympathy because she’s a stay-at-home mother of three whose husband is serving in Iraq right now? No sir.
A sheriff’s spokeswoman said that Boyd made an illegal turn and that’s that.
True enough, but I’ve been pulled over for speeding, which is just as illegal, and have gotten a simple warning on multiple occasions, because the cops have this thing called discretion. And in appropriate circumstances, they can, you know, use that discretion to be reasonable. But in Florida, reason was given up a long time ago, so I guess this shouldn’t surprise me.
And the headline of the week award…
…Goes to “The Local,” which is “Sweden’s News in English.” The Swede’s, it would seem, have a very solid grasp on the English language, throwing this headline up, on Valentine’s Day of all days:
Police get a grip on serial masturbator
A woman found this dude yanking it in a stairwell and she called the cops. They showed up and arrested the naked man, and here’s the best part: he spent the 40 minute drive back to the police station continuing “with his manual labour.” One assume the cops got him to finally stop at the station, which is where they discovered that he’s known in the area “for holding his own in difference churches and other public places.”
First of all — god bless this man. I’m not sure that I could keep it up while in the back of a cop car in the first place but, if I could, I’m especially not sure I have the stamina or wherewithal to keep it going for 40 minutes. That’s some tantric Sting shit, right there.
Second off all, as much as I love the headline from The Local, I love the end of the actual html link to the story even better:
http://www.thelocal.se/9982/20080214/?JerkIt
Barack the White?
QL friend, Jonathan V. Last (from the illustrious Galley Slaves), made a very interesting observation in the Weekly Standard this week, and it’s worth sharing for our Lord of the Rings fans:
Tolkien was obsessed with the power of voice throughout his Lord of the Rings series, particularly in the person of Saruman the White. Saruman’s voice is so powerful, we’re told, that it is able to suggest and shape the actions and thoughts of men. Here’s Tolkien’s description of “The Voice of Saruman”:
low and melodious, its very sound an enchantment … it was a delight to hear the voice speaking, all that it said seemed wise and reasonable, and desire woke in them by swift agreement to seem wise themselves … for those whom it conquered the spell endured while they were far away and ever they heard that soft voice whispering and urging them.
Listening to Barack Obama speak, for example at his victory speech tonight, it strikes me that this passage might just as easily describe him.
I guess, then, that Hillary’s voice is like Gollum’s: Hoarse, garbled, screechy, and desperate, with a slight note of evil beneath. “My… preciousssss.”
Snot Rockets
About a half-hour into a speech in Dallas, Texas, Barack Obama announced that he had to take a quick break.
“Gotta blow my nose here for a second,” Obama said.
Out came a Kleenex (or perhaps it was a hankie), and he wiped his nose.
The near-capacity audience at the Reunion Arena, which his campaign said totaled 17,000, broke out in a slightly awkward applause.
So much for Hillary’s theory that Barack is style over substance: The man can produce substance on command, y’all.
I bet that hankie goes for thousands on EBay, too.
President Bush Succeeds in Failing!
George Bush, arguably (but only slightly) the worst president in the history of the country, has finally achieved — after nearly eight years — something no other U.S. President has achieved: American Research Group’s lowest approval rating ever:
Overall, 19% of Americans say that they approve of the way George W. Bush is handling his job as president, 77% disapprove, and 4% are undecided.
Congratulations, President! No one likes you! Yes: Even Jesus disapproves of the way you are handling your job as president.
In a related story, the Bush administration is now comparing itself to Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah.
The Daily Memo - 2/21/08
A local asshole was arrested for breaking his puppy’s back legs and jaw after breaking up with his girlfriend. (LAist)
Bush signed a good law, making the Do-Not-Call Registry permanent. (Gizmodo)
I’m no Hillary supporter, but to ask if she’s got an unfair edge because she’s married to a “super-duper-delegate?” …Please. The more important question is why we haven’t gotten rid of this stupid system in the first place. (FindLaw)
A whole buttload of Supreme Court decisions rolled off the bench yesterday. (SCOTUSblog)
Shrinkage!
In Germany, a 21-year-old man has been convicted for distributing pornographic materials, for which he must pay a 150 euros fine. His actual crime? He sent a photo of his dick, via his cell phone, to a random woman. She called the cops, who tracked the man down and found evidence that he might have done this to other random ladies as well.
Meanwhile, Judge Christian Kropp said what no man wants to hear:
We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing.
Now that’s just going too far
Ok, Australia. Hear me now and hear me good. I’m all for parental responsibility. You got kids who are getting into trouble and making repeat trips to youth camps and juvey? Absolutely you should try to get the parents involved and, at the least, make them accountable.
But there’s holding parents accountable and there’s just being ridiculous. Now if you wanted to throw the parents in jail for the crimes of their children? I’d be ok with that. But seizing their televisions? That’s out of fucking control!
Legal Math
(Man + hotel whiskey + tastes like piss + fight with employee + kicked out) * (fired from job + lost new job) = $30,000 lawsuit
Just Give It Up Already
It’s as though the Hillary Clinton enthusiasts are in a battle royale to see who can suck the most. First, there was Hillary4U&Me video, and now some enterprising tone-deaf woman has decided to bring a little “Laverne and Shirley” flavor to her campaign.
I really wish she wouldn’t have.
Can’t we all just get along
The new Mayor of Philadelphia, Michel Nutter, thinks people need to stop being assholes to the city workers. He said that Philly folks aren’t always “as nice as they could be when they encounter a public employee…. Treat people the way you want to be treated.”
Man, if Nutter thinks that’s all it takes to turn Philly into a nicer place, he’s got a long administration ahead of him.
Christ, next thing you know, Mayor Nutter will be asking Eagles fans to start being nicer to the Cowboys and the Giants. And for Phillies fans to sing kumbaya with Mets fans.
Small-Time Politicians Generously Donate Stupidity for our Benefit
Three current and former politicians around the country are in trouble this week for being dumbasses. In Colorado Springs, Robert Ptasy — an ex-councilman — is facing a felony after he dropped a pill into a date’s drink. The pill: Valium. The problem: His waiter saw him do it and reported it to the police.
Fail.
Meanwhile, in Louisiana, Rep. Charmaine Marchand continued to improve the reputation of politicians when she raised a fuss over a bill that would limit lobbyists from spending more than $50 on meals with individual lawmakers. Marchand insists that the limit should be raised, fearing that “if it’s $50, I think we’re going to be eating at Taco Bell.’ That’s a lot of tacos, Representative. Consider this: Buy your own fucking lunch!
You lose.
Finally, in Birmingham, Alabama, Mayor Larry Langford and his friend/businessman John Katopodis are in some hot water after it was revealed that a lot of tax-payer money meant to provide computers to children ended up in the hands of a gay porn star.
Documents show $30,000 went to actor Marc Anthony Donais, who was known as Ryan Idol when he was a star in the gay porn industry in the 1990s.
Katopodis has denied misusing the money and computers given to the charity. Court documents show that Katopodis said in sworn testimony the actor received $5,000 from the computer charity and $25,000 from the Council of Cooperating Governments, which Katopodis headed.
Besides being a porn star, Donais is a businessman who worked for the charity and fixed computers despite lacking any formal training in the area, Katopodis said.
“He, as I say, helped us, he traveled helping to try to set up computer programs in other areas among disadvantaged communities,” Katopodis said.
And by “disadvantaged,” of course, he means: Gay, horny, and unethical.
The Daily Memo - 2/20/08
Not exactly law-related (unless/until CNN gets its ass sued), but friend of sister-site Pajiba has posted the details on his blog-related and unceremonious firing from CNN. (Deus Ex Malcontent)
Jessica Simpson and her pops are being sued because they hate fatties. (Webster’s Is My Bitch)
Japan’s Supremes love them some naked Mapplethorpe photos. (FindLaw)
The Federal Circuit is going to review business method patents, and the Law Blog’s new blawger is super excited. (WSJ Law Blog)
The Supremes are letting Montana sue Wyoming. (FindLaw)
But they’re going to pass on a review of Bush’s warrantless wiretapping program. (Nota Bene)
A USA Reporter may be held in contempt, and not over her paper’s incessant use of charts and graphs. (LawInfo)
“Your tacos or your life!” Shit man, you can take my life, but you can never take … my tacos!!! (FindLaw)
Racist Dipshit Sticks Foot in Mouth; Bites It Off
Remember last week, when I told you about the classy Utah Senator, Chris Buttars, who said of a bill he opposed: “This baby is black … It’s a dark, ugly thing”? Well, Buttars wanted to make amends with the NAACP after the incident; unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to shut his racist mouth.
See, first: After agreeing to meet with the NAACP, Buttars backed out after learning that the media would be present because, well, the media does this weird thing where they report what you say, and since Buttars can’t help but to say dipshit things, he probably wisely backed out. Of course, that didn’t stop him from saying dipshit things — in fact, Buttars told the Salt Lake Tribune that he had become the target of a “lynch mob.”
Duuuuuude! If African-Americans start accusing you of racism, among the top five stupidest things you could say is that you’re the target of a lynch mob. Appropriately, the NAACP took umbrage:
“The man knows nothing about what a lynch mob is,” said Edward Lewis Jr., the former regional president of the NAACP, holding an article about a lynching in 1925 in Price. “It’s an insult for the man to say he’s being lynched when we know what real lynchings are.”
And what does Buttars do in response? Jams that fucking foot of his through the back of his throat:
“Lynch mob is a Western term. You wouldn’t find one person in 10,000 in Utah that thinks that’s a racist term,” Buttars said in a phone interview Tuesday evening. “That’s not a racial term in my opinion. How do I know what words I’m supposed to use in front of those people?”
First of all, you are an idiot, Buttars. A third-degree bigot without an ounce of decency, you dumb fucking git. (Sorry, Senator Git). And second of all — I’m just guessing here, but if you’re trying to say the right thing, maybe you ought’nt refer to African-Americans as “those people.”
You assdrink. Quit your fucking job and go hide in a hole and die.
Uhm, no you won’t
Seriously Hillary, don’t try to play Obama’s game, because you won’t win.
(Feel free to stop watching after the 35 second mark, although there is a bizarre bit of crowd interaction at around 1:30 — I don’t know if there’s anything worth watching past that, because I just couldn’t stick with it.)
Send us the bill
The Massachusetts Department of Environmental Protection has decided that the city of Fitchburg needs to beef up its local wastewater facility. So it issued a mandate that the city install a new facility at the plant, a facility that will cost almost $10 million to build. City Council President Thomas Conry thinks this mandate, without any money from the state, is hogwash.
State and federal governments continue to push unfunded mandates on cities and towns and we just can’t afford to do them.
The nearby city of Worcester has flipped the bird to similar projects mandated by the state without funding, and Fitchburg has decided to join them. This stand doesn’t come without a price, however, as the mandate includes a $1,000 per day penalty starting next March. But Fitchburg figures it’s cheaper to just pay that fine than to spend the $800,000 per year it’ll take to build the plant, money which would come from a sewer tax hike to residents.
Of course, that still adds up to $365,000 per year, so one wonders where the city will get the cash. But whatever, cause there’s a part of me that definitely loves seeing a whole city stand up the man.
The Slate Roundup
I found so many interesting links at Slate yesterday, that instead of just tossing them in the Daily Memo, they’re getting their own entry (how you like me now, Slate?!).
First up, Jack Shafer contemplates Barack Obama, the Plagiarist, looking at the media’s quick defense of Obama and then concluding that he is not, in fact, a thieving thief. Shafer even makes a comment similar to what Dustin said yesterday, noting that Harvard would’ve smacked the shit out of him had he included his words in a student paper (and he also mentions Biden’s 1988 presidential run). Look at you Dustin, offering critique like the big boys!
Then there’s the lovely Dahlia Lithwick, who gives us the latest in her Supreme Court Dispatches, this time telling us that “the Supreme Court squints at America’s elderly federal employees.” Yesterday morning, the Supremes heard oral argument in a case that looks at whether federal age-discrimination laws should be extended to protect federal works from retaliation for being whistle-blowers. And her conclusion pretty much tells us how this decision is going to play out:
That sound you’re hearing today isn’t just the courthouse door closing on thousands more Americans and their lawsuits. It’s also the sound of a very energized conservative bloc on the high court that seems to grow younger every day.
Two more quick links. First, in discussing the DVD release of Michael Clayton, we learn about the film’s “devastating critique of the legal profession.” And lastly, Jeff Greenfield offers some guidance for how the Democrat superdelegates can figure out who to vote for at the Democratic National Convention.
Well yeah, that’s a no brainer
Last week, Above the Law asked if lawyers should date lawyers, and I gave the rather simple and undetailed response of “no.” In the comments, three elle touted the joys of law school students dating each other, which made me realize that I should clarify last week’s post.
Yes, lawyers totally shouldn’t date other lawyers.
But law students absolutely must date other law students.
Not for their own health and well-being, mind you, but for the entertainment of everyone else. That resulting drama is endlessly amusing and really helps you get through the whole law school thing. Plus, if it gives rise to learning about how one of your section-mates is into auto-erotic asphyxiation, a revelation that comes out in the middle of a crim law class, well, all the better.
Bubba Will Smite Your Ass
A couple of things: First, as I’ve stated, I am fully on the Obama bandwagon — that said, I’m not keen on the way he’s been blowing off this plagiarism charge. He’s admitting to borrowing parts of this speech from his friend Deval Patrick, but he’s not really taking much responsibility, saying he probably should’ve attributed it to Patrick, but not doing so isn’t a “big deal.” That’s not what Joe Biden said when he was forced to drop out of the 1988 Presidential race because of charges that he’d stolen lines from a UK politician. I mean, lookit: Seth and I went to law school with someone who was suspended for an entire year for failing to appropriately footnote her law school thesis; Barack went to freakin’ Harvard Law School — hell, he was a law school professor, so he knows just how serious this is — you don’t fuck around with plagiarism. Likewise, Hillary can’t steal lines from her husband without attribution and then claim, as she’s been doing, that it’s different because they are husband and wife. That’s just bullshit. Attribute, people.
However, while we’re on the topic, Bill reminded me once again over the weekend why, by marital association, I had so much difficulty giving up on Hillary, as he got all self-righteous and red faced when a heckler went after him. I realize it turns a lot of folks off, but that Clintonian temper is one of the many things that turned me on to him — that’s fiery passion, motherfuckers. Check it out:
Somebody Best Be Getting They Ass Canned
Go to the 00:35 second mark. Register shock. Forward to friends.
That ain’t OK, folks. And it ain’t even subtle. Somebody needs to get fired. Today.
Suck My D**k F**k Face
Man: I dig the audacity of the waiter responsible for the bill to the right. Unfortunately, the restaurant manager is, apparently, an unforgiving dick who felt obligated to apologize to the ten patrons who received the bill after they complained about poor service.
Ms Watkin said: “I couldn’t believe it. The bill read ‘fish cakes’, which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it — absolutely disgusting language.
I think that the way that we’ve been spoken to is absolutely outrageous Clare Watkin.
She added: “I’d like a written apology from the restaurant and I’d also like some compensation.”I think that the way that we’ve been spoken to is absolutely outrageous.”
Give me a break — lighten the hell up, f**k face.
Wrong Number, Dumbass
How playing a video game can lead to one’s arrest for cocaine possession:
The Louisiana State Police arrested Thomas Ballard, 29, of Delhi, after a concerned citizen called authorities saying she received a call shortly after midnight saying, “I have killed them all.”
Ballard’s telephone number was on her caller ID.
When troopers arrived at his house, Ballard reportedly said he had killed the “bad guys” on his video game and called a friend to share the news. After searching his home to ensure no one had been murdered on the scene, police found a 5-year-old warrant from Baton Rouge for failure to appear on a possession of cocaine charge.
The Daily Memo - 2/19/08
Keith Olberman thinks Bush is guilty of his own brand of terrorism. Wait, Olbermann doesn’t like Bush? Get outta here! (The Raw Story)
Ouch. Local tagger Gustavo Romero has been charged with 72 acts of vandalism for throwing his “Guser” tag up all over the city. (Metroblogging LA)
You think your tax bill is bad? Exxon paid about $30 billion last year. Of course, if I made almost $70 billion, I wouldn’t cry as much about a $30 billion tax bill. But still. (Seeking Alpha)
“Ok, yes, I’m going to resign from the state legislature over this whole ‘exposing myself and making lewd comments to a female lobbyist’ business, but for the record, it was consensual. She asked to see my junk!” (The Denver Post)
Well alright! According to one poll, Al Franken is leading his chief rival for the Democrat ticket in Minnesota’s Senate race. (Fox Noise)
Man, Rock’em Sock’em Robots were the shit! (Likelihood of Confusion)
That’s not illegal … that’s love
Snuggly the Security Bear loves you!
(A big ol tip o’ the hat to Concurring Opinions.)
Oh Dana, why gotta come at us like that?
Dana Parino, the White House Press Secretary, is pointing the blame for why Congress is standing up to President Bush and his desires to “keep us safer.” She says it’s the fault of “left-wing bloggers.” That’s right — troublemakers like your very own QuizLaw are going to bring down this country:
The “people’s House” should reflect the priorities of the American people, not the fantasies of left-wing bloggers.
Oh Dana. If the House were really catering to my fantasies, well, let’s just say that you’d be here in Los Angeles with a lengthy receipt of items from Frederick’s of Hollywood.
Wake up people!
Yesterday’s pair of Obamatroversies taught us that Obama is a thieving wordsmith and that he likes to get hummers from rednecks. (Well to be fair, who doesn’t? I mean, they give the best gum, know what I’m saying?) Well whatever with all that — yesterday’s news, sir.
Look at this shit — Obama is now wearing a wristband given to him by Tracy Jopek last weak, in remembrance of her son, Sgt. Ryan David Jopek, who died in Iraq back in ‘06. The temerity! You know what this means? Only a matter of time before the spin machines come out tell us he he’s trying to ride the backs of dead soldiers into the White House.
And worse than the whole bracelet business, check this shit out — he’s the only candidate who was unwilling to pander for Wisconsin votes! McCain went to fish fry, Hillary was at a bratwurst-and-beer place, Hucakbee was bowling. And where, oh where, was Obama during all this? In a convention hall stealing the words of his friend Deval Patrick.
This madman must. be. stopped!
“One shot?” “Two is pussy.”
I’ve never understood the allure of hunting. I mean, I’ve shot guns before and will admit that shooting can be pretty damn fun. But I’m totally ok with shooting cans and clay whatchamacallits and other non-living things. No desire whatsoever to pump lead into Bambi. That being said, I don’t have any particular issue with hunting, either, so long as it’s being done legally.
Michael Wayne Hart doesn’t seem to care about the technicalities of that whole legality bit, though. Which could be a problem, seeing as how he’s, you know, a lawyer.
Late last month, a complaint was filed against Hart by the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission. Seems Hart was hunting with a buddy who managed to bag a deer. And I guess your permit only lets you kill one deer, so Hart gave his buddy his son’s permit to tag the deer, and then they both lied when they took the deer to a check station, claiming that Hart’s son had killed the deer. A son who wasn’t even with them. There was an investigation, and Hart repeatedly lied about the whole thing, and he was eventually busted for obstructing the investigation and illegally loaning a permit. Schmuck.
The best part of this story is pointed out by Alan Childress over