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Killing Time in Georgia

georgia.jpgGeorgia: The literal home of the Braves (and 1995 World Series Champs) and, of more notoriety of late, Michael Vick, now the most famous dog hater since Anthony Gomez, who decapitated his girlfriend’s therapy dog and gift-wrapped the head. It’s also the topic of one of the greatest songs of all time, “Georgia on My Mind,” recorded by Ray Charles, Willie Nelson, and The Band (among many others). Many of you may also remember that Georgia was where “The Dukes of Hazzard,” “In the Heat of the Night,” and Smokey and the Bandit were filmed.

In today’s story, Wendell Adams plays our Smokey. He went into a McDonald’s, ordered a hamburger, and was so dissatisfied with the burger’s flavor, that he arrested the woman who made it. Indeed, Kendra Bull accidentally spilled salt on the burger meat and, though her co-worker and supervisor tried to “thump the salt off” it still tasted a little off. So off, in fact, that our Smokey got a wittle-bit puny. It’s not like he had a heart attack or anything, he just got a little sick.

But, power-tripping asshole Smokey that he is, he took the woman outside, questioned her, and eventually not only sent the meat to a crime lab, but had the woman arrested for serving a burger “without regards to the well-being of anyone who might consume it.”

We’ve covered this before, but it bears repeating: Never put your life and well-being in the hands of a minimum wage fast food worker, capisci? And, besides, she may have been dumb enough to put too much salt on your burger, Smokey, but you’re the asshole who ate the whole goddamn thing. Moron.

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Comments

One bite and half a chew would tell anyone with half a brain if the meat's too salty.

Does it say how tall this cop is? I've got a theory what his problem might be.