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“When you want something, you gotta take it.”

over-the-top.jpgI ran into some stories last night that I felt deserved more than a quick one-liner in The Daily Memo, but which I didn’t have the energy to do full write-ups on. So we’re going to do some quick hits.

First up, reader Louis R. asked if we were going to cover the Yoo Memo. Well here you go. For those folks unaware, John Yoo was the Deputy Assistant Attorney General in 2003, and he wrote a memo — that’s now been declassified — which argued that the pesky law don’t apply to military interrogators, so torture, torture away. As the MotherJones Blog puts it, this isn’t really a surprise, because it ain’t nothing we didn’t already know, right? The most interesting thing about may just be that we can now read the memo in full, and re-raise our righteous indignation. Slate, takes a look at what some of the bloggers are saying about the memo and, as Alex Joseph puts it, they’re “having a field day.”

Turning away from the torture — err, maybe not. Jesus Christ. From Above the Law I learned of the story about a gaggle of third-graders who — get this — decided to kidnap their teacher. They brought duct tape, handcuffs and a broken knife, among other things, to school. They and even gave other kids chores related to the plan, like clean-up duties. All because she scolded a kid for standing on a chair. What the hell? …John Yoo would love these kids!

Meanwhile, Obama has taken to doing some pandering in the hunt for Pennsylvania votes, but he certainly knows how to pull on my fucking heart strings. In an interview with a Philly sports radio station (WIP, naturally), he talked about hoops and said that he’d love to be a pro ball player of the Dr. J ilk. First of all, Dr. J’s the bomb, so good on you Obama. Second of all, a partner at my firm played college hoops with Barack/Barry for a few years, and while I understand that he had some game, he weren’t no Dr. J. And thirdly, here’s Deadspin’s amusing wrap-up on the story: “Hopefully, he doesn’t plan on emulating the Doc’s off-court behavior, which entailed stealthily impregnating female sports reports.” Hee. (And speaking of Obama, The Raw Story is reporting that Barack said he’d consider giving Gore a cabinet position if he wins, and if the global warmer is interested.)

And lastly, in another attempt to pull on the Philly heartstrings, Hillary has apparently been trying to compare herself to Rocky (and Barack called her on it). Hillary. Honey. I don’t love you, but I like you well enough. You’re not a bad person. But I know South Philly. I love me some Rocky. And Hillary, you’re no Rocky. So cut it out. If you gotta be a Sly Stallone movie character, go with Over the Top’s Lincoln Hawk. I bet you could do some mean arm wrestling! Plus, that quote at the top could just as easily come outta your mouth as it came out of Hawk’s.