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“To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all life’s problems!”

to-alcohol.jpgMichael Edward likes to get his drink on. And then he likes to take his riding mower out for a cruise on the highway. Turns out, that still counts as drunk driving, don’t you know. Especially when you’re driving your mower into oncoming traffic.

This of course led to a police chase and, once the cops snagged him, Edward blew over three times the legal limit on two Breathalyzer tests.

This was in Florida, naturally, so the cops likely weren’t surprised in the least. If it had instead been in Jersey, the cops might’ve asked Edward where he had gotten his drink on. That’s because Jersey has joined a few other states in going after the bars that let folks get too drunk. The “Last Drink Initiative” tries to keep track of where the drunks are coming from, hoping to identify “problem locations.” But come on — can you blame anyone who lives in Jersey for wanting to drink until they’re blind on any given night?

Speaking of Florida and beer, by the by — where else would a man file a lawsuit claiming that beer hurt him?