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The Used Car King Says: Bring Your Baby

usedcars.buyselltrade.350.jpgOut in Colorado, three folks were arrested for swapping their baby for a down payment on a car and an unspecified amount of cash. Nichole Uribe is accused of trading her 5-month old to a couple, and all three were charged with felony trafficking in children and held on $50,000 bail. The child is being held in foster care.

But here’s what really bugs me: She traded it in for a used Dodge Intrepid. I mean, c’mon! If you’re going to trade your baby for a car, at least get a foreign car. The bluebook value on a 2004 used Intrepid (the latest for which stats are available) is only $8,300 (and it only has mediocre crash-test results). And she only got a down payment.

A five-month-old child is certainly worth more than a down payment on a shitty domestic car. Uribe should’ve held out for better. This country has really got to get its priorities straight.

It does remind me, however, of the best used-car commercial ever created:

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Comments

That's my state! Still better than Florida.

Seriously though, newborn baby might be worth more cash than a five month old. Besides blue book on the baby is reduced significantly when you take into account the amount of drugs it's probably inhaled or incidently ingested through breast milk.

Bridget, you're absolutely correct. Babies are like new cars - their value plummets the second you "drive them off the lot." Baby blue book value is at its highest between the time the baby is shot out and when he/she gets the first feeding and inoculations. It's all downhill from there.

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