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The best opening sentences to a news article ever


It’s getting tougher for the dishonest, the mentally unstable and the overweight to get hired as Cook County jail guards these days. As a result, fewer guards are getting hired.

So yeah, in the Chicago area, it seems that prisons have decided that fat, crazy liars may not make for the best guards. Whodathunkit?

| Comments (2)


You have no idea how hard it is to find someone not fat, crazy or a liar to do anything in a Cook County Agency

Ha! Nice picture.