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Rocky raccoon pulls a Bobbit

raccoon-by-nal_miama-at-flickr-2753.jpgWho in the hell gets turned on by a raccoon? And if you are actually sick enough to try and rape one, you’d think you’d want to take some safety precautions. Teeth wise. So it won’t, oh I don’t know, BITE IT OFF!

Nope, not this guy

“Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified - but toothy - fur ball. “When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow. Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood. “He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off,” said a pal. “That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”

I don’t have a penis, but I’m pretty sure that if I did, I’d never stick it in a raccoon. Or a garbage disposal. Or a wood chipper. Basically not in anything that would reduce my manhood to a ravaged bloody stump. I’m just really unadventurous that way I guess.

| Comments (4)


Pants! This gets better and better. Except for, you know, the whole "losing your only penis" part.

I'm glad to say vodka has been mean to me, but not plain evil.

I'd like to congratulate the orthodontist of the pictured raccoon - outstanding work!

As far as Alexander Kirilov goes, I am left speechless.

Yay Pants!

I assume the raccoon will be prominently featured in the next PETA campaign. Beyond that, it takes a special kind of drunk to lose your manhood to a furry woodland creature.

Maybe this could be a new category for the Pain Olympics?