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Paperback Writer

Beatles.jpgSo, a judge out in Montana, clearly bored to tears with writing his usual brand of opinion, decided — when a defendant misspelled the Beatles as the “Beetles” — to take out his umbrage in a sentencing opinion rife with Beatles allusions. It’s lame as hell, but — just as when an out-of-touch-father attempts to make jokes in front of his son’s teenage friends — there’s something kind of endearing about it, too.

’Hey Jude’, ‘Do You Want to Know a Secret’? The greatest band in history spelled its name B-e-a-t-l-e-s.

I interpret the meaning of your response to suggest that there should be no consequences for your actions and I should ‘Let it Be’ so that you could live in ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’. Such reasoning is ‘Here, There and Everywhere’. It does not require a ‘Magical Mystery Tour’ of interpretation to know ‘The Word’ means leave it alone. I trust we can all ‘Come Together’ on that meaning.

If I were to overlook your actions and ‘Let It Be’, I would ignore that ‘Day in the Life’ on April 21, 2006. That night you said to yourself ‘I Feel Fine’ while drinking beer. Later, whether you wanted ‘Money’ or were just trying to ‘Act Naturally’ you became the ‘Fool on the Hill’ on on North 27th Street. As ‘Mr Moonlight’ at 1.30am, you did not ‘Think for Yourself’ but just focused on ‘I, Me, Mine’.

Because you didn’t ask for ‘Help’, ‘Wait’ for ‘Something’ else or listen to your conscience saying ‘Honey Don’t’, the victim later that day was ‘Fixing a Hole’ in the glass door you broke. After you stole the 18 pack of Old Milwaukee you decided it was time to ‘Run For Your Life’ and ‘Carry That Weight’. But the witness said ‘Baby it’s You’, the police responded ‘I’ll Get You’ and you had to admit that ‘You Really Got a Hold on Me’. You were not able to ‘Get Back’ home because of the ‘Chains’ they put on you. Although you hoped the police would say ‘I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party’ and ‘We Can Work it Out’, you were in ‘Misery’ when they said you were a ‘Bad Boy’. When the police took you to jail, you experienced ‘Something New’ as they said ‘Hello Goodbye’ and you became a ‘Nowhere Man’.

Later when you thought about what you did, you may have said ‘I’ll Cry Instead’. Now you’re saying ‘Let it Be’ instead of ‘I’m a Loser’. As a result of your ‘Hard Day’s Night’, you are looking at a ‘Ticket to Ride’ that ‘Long and Winding Road’ to Deer Lodge. Hopefully you can say both now and ‘When I’m 64’ that ‘I Should Have Known Better’.

For the record, the defendant was sentenced to three years probation, community service, and ordered to pay a fine.