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Mr. Riches, you never cease to amaze me

steveJobs.jpgI recently told you about Jonathan Lee Riches’ wonderful lawsuit against Martha Stewart, and son of a gun if there isn’t more to report from the wonderful world of frivolous lawsuits. On September 21, Riches filed another handwritten lawsuit, this time alleging that O.J. Simpson has been a hitman for Steve Jobs ever since the Philly MOVE bombing in 1985 (only in Philly does a city bomb itself!). Riches claims that the bombing was actually started by Jobs, using pyrotechnics borrowed from Great White.

He also alleges that O.J. has been supplying Jobs with food blenders since 1993 and that O.J. actually paid Jobs to clone Dolly the sheep.

But wait, there’s more:

As for his other roles in the legal escapade, Jobs is charged with aiming nuclear missiles at Riches’ brain and Lance Armstrong’s bicycle, as well as price gouging iPhone customers. “On May 10th, 2007, I bought an Apple iPhone for $922.01 at the FCI Williamsburg commissary,” Riches wrote. “Now Jobs sells that same iPod for $199.”
The remainder of the complaint continues in the same outlandish vein, with Princess Diana, the United Auto Workers, and Cinderella’s Castle each making appearances, among others.

Sadly, the lawsuit has already been dismissed, as a judge ruled that it was “nothing more than fanciful nonsense.” The judge added that the complaint “reads like a cross between Billy Joel’s ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ and a Dr. Bronner’s soap label, if Dr. Bronner had been a first-year law student with untreated paranoid schizophrenia.”

Man, I’m so in love with Riches!

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Comments

For that matter, why ISN'T he in a mental facility? I mean, the judge is right, it sounds a lot like untreated paranoid schizophrenia, so when does this guy start getting treatment?

Riches isn't crazy--he's just bored. What better way to pass a long prison term than to spend your days writing/filing nonsense suits?

When he gets out he should compile a book of these nuggets of genius. I would buy it.

Book, schmook...I want to see a movie by this guy. It could be the greatest four hours EVER.

he he.. nuggets.