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Michael Vick is in serious trouble

rMexico.jpgForget his whole federal dog fighting thing. That’s the least of the Falcons QB’s worries, because he’s also being sued by a South Carolina prisoner for “63,000,000,000.00 billion dollars backed by gold and silver delivered via ‘UPS’ United States parcel service to the front gates of” his S.C. prison! The wonderful Jonathan Lee Riches (who seems to think his name is copyrighted) is suing Vick for a variety of alleged civil rights violations and torts:

… that include, but not limited to: injury to wildlife, conspiracy, illegal dog fighting, extortion, racketeering, gambling, copyright infringement, identity theft, fraud, threats to commit violent acts, brutality, tax fraud.

Rich’s fleshes out his allegations, kinda-sorta, in the hand-written complaint, and he claims that Vick stole two of his pit bulls for dog fighting purposes, only to sell them on eBay, using “the proceeds to purchase missles [sic] from the Iran government.” He also alleges that Vick stole his identity which was then used, among other things, to open a “doggie warehouse,” and that his copyright in his name has been violated by Vick using Rich’s name on his “personal football outfit and casual clothing.” There are also allegations of Vick being tied to al Qaeda and using illegal microwave testing on Rich.

This 3-page complaint is really a gem, and you should totally roll over to Above the Law right now and read it for yourself.

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Comments

Wow. That's 63 quintillion dollars.

I can't decide which part is the best: the microwave testing ("quick: defrost this pot pie NOW!"), having his "identity" stolen from his coat (really, you should keep your identity somewhere safer, like a vault or, perhaps, in your personal awareness of your self), or the part where Vick has to stop "hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes" (hey, can I attach my ex-girlfriend to this action?).

Thank you Reagan...Before you, this guy would be in a hospital getting help. Now here's where he is belong, in jail.

Run a Lexis complaint search for Jonathan /2 Riches. This is nowhere near his first lawsuit. Check out Riches v. Bush et al. He lists what could easily be over 100 defendants, including famous persons (celebrities, politicians, CEO's, and historical figures, etc. ... both dead and alive), inanimate objects, landmarks, companies, websites, and religious deities. Supposedly the complaint is north of 50 crazy-filled pages!

p.s.

Here's a link to the docket report listing ALL the defendants (57 pages)

http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2006-04-13/NC_FP_Lawsuit.pdf

That's fantastic. He sued Skittles and the Magna Carta. Rich is totally my new hero!