Lorenna Bobbitt, Step Aside …
Holy Lord. Fellas, there’s officially a fear more terrifying than having your penis lopped off and thrown to the side of the road (where it can be found and re-attached). A 24-year-old lady in England has one-upped the Bobbitt. I mean, she knocked it the fuck out of the park.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”
She tried to swallow it?!
Wait. Wait. Let’s back up. Let’s look at this from the beginning. So, Amanda and Geoff had some sort of “open relationship” but they broke it off on fairly good terms. Then they went a friend’s house for drinks. There was an argument. And then, as Mr. Jones, said: She grabbed his genitals and pulled hard.
I guess she did.
“That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.” The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it. She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
I think I may have just fainted.
(Thanks, Edith, for the head’s up).