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Let This Be a Lesson to Huggers Everywhere

loadimage.cfm.jpgYesterday, I wrote about a devilish 13-year-old girl who got her just desserts for her wicked ways — that harlot hugged a classmate. On school property. In public. (I know! Try to contain your gasps.) Well, after reading about that account, we can already feel the repercussions of that degenerate action — goddamn kids these days think they can get away with anything.

I mean, look what happened in the very same state, a short 250 mile stretch of I-55 away: 25 rapscallions at an Illinois high school had the nerve — the fucking nerve — to protest the Iraq War. Again, on school grounds. In flagrante! How dare those heathens, those depraved villains protest a government war on government grounds, lest they forget who is funding their little school. That’s right — the US of fucking A is paying for these ingrates to learn about important things. Important things on standardized tests! And what do these pissant reprobates do? They protest. I’m so mad I could spit maggots. Wriggly, fire-breathing maggots.

Of course, the “outraged” parents are claiming it was a peaceful protests, but we all know that there was violence inside their putrid hearts. And naturally, they argue it was their First Amendment right. Well, here’s a history lesson, boys and girls: There’s a war going on. A war to keep foreigners offa our soil. Soil we grow potatoes in. Potatoes we feed to our soldiers. And while there’s a war, your precious First Amendment don’t mean squat. During war time, you little shits, the Second Amendment trumps the First — you try to act up and exercise your right to “peaceably assemble,” and I’ll use my right to peaceably pull out my shotgun and disperse your little hippy-ass assembly.

Good thing them kids got what was coming to ‘em: Ten days suspension. Should’ve been the full year. If kids don’t appreciate what they got, you gotta take it away from ‘em. And then you gotta shoot ‘em. Right ‘tween the eyes. That’s the way my Daddy taught me. And if it’s good enough for me, it’s good enough for commies.

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Comments

That's college application essay gold, right there. If they play their cards right, the hugger and the war protesters will be rewarded soon enough, in the form of admission to decent universities.

"I’m so mad I could spit maggots. Wriggly, fire-breathing maggots."

This is the best thing I've read all day and unless someone has a check for me with lots of zeros, I'm only going to look at porn.

I'm confused. Didn't we already do this in the 60s? Like literally almost this exact same thing? and then learned about it in 8th grade civics? I wonder if the students had gone all existing precedent on their asses if things would have gone differently...