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“Lawyers F up everything”

kAndB.jpgYesterday morning, on the “Kevin & Bean Show” on LA’s KROQ, the titular Kevin and Bean went on a bit of a tear against their radio station’s lawyers. What’s all the hub-bub?

Well there’s this song getting a lot of play right now called “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s (you can catch the video at the end of this entry). So recently, the Kevin and Bean crew did a parody of the song called “Hey There Vagina.” I thought it was pretty damn hilarious in its crude misogyny, and apparently it was quite a hit with the general KROQ audience (not just the morning Kevin & Bean fans), as the song became the station’s most requested track earlier this week.

But then, all of a sudden, the station stopped playing the tune and it vanished from the KROQ website. Wha’ happened?

Well, as Kevin explained on yesterdays show, “lawyers, when they get involved, screw everything up.” Amen, Kevin. Amen.

In this instance, it seems that the radio station’s lawyers are deathly afraid of the Big Bad Wolf that is the FCC and its infuriatingly vague obscenity rules. So they simply decided, on their own, to make a preemptive strike and tell the station’s management that the song is “obviously obscene” and shouldn’t be touched anymore.

Asked Bean: “Who’s offended by vaginas? …Except maybe for Seacrest?”

Well apparently the KROQ lawyers are offended by vaginas. In fact, when Kevin and Bean said “we’ll bleep out any word that you find offensive,” the lawyers responded by saying “no sir, that won’t cut it - play no version of the song whatsoever.”

It’s utterly despicable when you live in fear, which is all this really is. The lawyers and station management fear the FCC, and fear a challenge which they would assuredly win, so they preemptively back down.

Of course, you want to hear this song, right? Well, here’s “Hey There Vagina:”

Now, as I say, I find this f’ing hilarious. But I could see folks finding it unfunny. I could even see folks finding it offensive. But “offensive” does not equal “obscene.”

In any event, the guy who recorded the track (Psycho Mike) went back into the studio to do the “most innocuous version of the song I could think of.” So here’s the new version, “Hey There How Are Ya:”

Hmmm … I think Psycho Mike might’ve slipped up a little there at the end.

(If the streaming mp3s aren’t working for some reason, you should be able to snag them over at Free To Be LA.)

| Comments (6)


Hailing from the beautiful city of LA *cough* I listen to Kevin and Bean every morning on my way to work. Funny funny guys, whose humor is always good-natured. The parody was meant more as a jab at the Plain White T's than to be mysogenistic.

Seriously, if the FCC keeps up its reign of terror, there will be nothing left on the radiowaves, and everything will be on satellite radio.

I take issue with my vajayjay being referred to as a "sausage wallet."

At any rate, the parody is still far less offensive than the original song. Man I hate Wuss Rock.

Well I don't know you well enough to know whether you're actually entitled to take issue with your vaj being referred to as a "sausage wallet," litely, and that's all I'm gonna say about that!

vagina is not a dirty word. the fcc can go f(u)cc themselves.

Did anyone else find the clean(?) version funnier than the vagina song? With the exception of the bizarre turn at the end, I thought that was a nice little FU to th FCC puritans.

chilling effect, naaaah.