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Is that a lager in your pants or … seriously, that’s a beer can in your pants, ain’t it?

smuggling-pants.jpgDavid Edward Benbow is a 30-year-old who was recently busted for trying to steal a can of beer by stuffing it down his pants. Benbow was busted at Bargain Booze, a local booze shop, and was given a three-month prison sentence by the British Magistrates overseeing his case. But they decided to cut Benbow some slack and suspend the sentence for a year so that Benbow can get some alcohol and drug treatment. The Magistrates did this because they said there’s still a chance that Benbow can fix his life.

Which is great and admirable and all. But. Benbow has seventy-one previous convictions on his record. Seventy. One. I mean look, I’m absolutely all for rehabilitation over punishment, particularly with addicts, I’m a firm believer in the idea that society benefits more from a rehabilitated addict over one stuck in a jail cell. But seventy-one prior convictions? Come on.

At least Benbow is lucky to be a Brit and not here in the states, where he probably would’ve gotten a 10-year sentence or, if he were a Texan, he’d already be strapped into the chair.

(And in other theft-by-pants-stuffing news, a man has been sentenced to community service after pleading guilty to stuffing bologna in his pants in an attempt to steal it. And this will shock you — he was drunk at the time of the theft.)