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Hillary Sticks Out Tongue, Wins Votes

250px-Tongue.agr.jpgIn more political news, Hillary Clinton — seeking to energize her fledgling campaign — locked up the endorsement of Iowa’s largest newspaper, The Des Moines Register, over the weekend. However, not content to leave well enough alone, Hillary shot herself in the foot by then comparing herself to a cow and inviting Western Iowans to “look inside [her] mouth.”

Hillary, who has quite a reputation for pandering, won over a few religious voters who took her up on her offer, after they inspected her mouth only to discover that her tongue hairs were neatly combed into the shape of the Virgin Mary. Clinton agreed to lick several constituents in exchange for their votes.