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Funky Lookin’ Plasticine Porn Stars for Hillary!

jenna1.jpgAs the country’s first opportunity to actually cast a vote approaches (one week to go!), a lot of folks in Iowa and New Hampshire are probably still scratching their heads wondering who to vote for. In fact, I bet there are a goodly number of folks who are thinking, “Well, I’m still a little undecided, but I wonder who Ted Nugent is supporting?” And if you need a shitty D-List personality to help you make up your mind this election season, Newsweek has gone and done all your leg work for you. Here’s a handy-dandy guide to the way a few people you don’t give a rat’s ass about are leaning this election season.

Ted Nugent: Mike Huckabee
Anne Coulter: Mitt Romney
Pat Sajak: Fred Thompson
Gene Wilder: Barack Obama
Larry Flynt: Dennis Kucinich
James Denton: John Edwards
Ben Stein: Rudy Guiliani
John O’Hurley: Rudy Guiliani
Marla Maples: Hillary Clinton
Harry Belafonte: John Edwards
Donny and Marie Osmond: Mitt Romney
Jenna Jameson: Hillary Clinton
Jerry Springer: Hillary Clinton

Personally, the fact that both Donny and Marie, as well as Anne Coulter, support Romney would’ve ruled out my vote had I known nothing about him. And while I might be inclined toward Hillary, if only because a bona fide porn star supports her, the honest-to-God clincher for me came when TV Guide asked the candidates what their favorite show was. Before then, I was in the Hillary camp. But she answered “American Idol” and “Dancing with the Stars,” which may be the height of pandering — it kind of made me sick. On the other hand, Barack Obama said his favorite show was “The Wire.”

And that folks is how I determine who to vote for. Barack: You’ve got my vote.

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Comments

I speak in defense of the importance of Gene Wilder's opinion. Any self-respecting Jew thinks Gene matters, even in his quiet retirement. But I promise at least part of my political outlook is independent of pop culture (even though Barack's love of The Wire makes me more excited about voting for him).

Took the words right out of my mouth...I'd be tempted to vote for Ron Paul if he had Obama's taste in TV.