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Bong Hits for ATL’s Guest Blogger

IMG_6718.jpgYesterday over at Above the Law (the second funniest law blog on the Interwebs), David Lat allowed a colleague from his sister site, Dealbreaker, to take a few unnecessary, kind of stupid, and not entirely well thought out swipes at Dahlia Lithwick, who among many lawyers and non-lawyers alike, is a favorite over at Slate. In fact, she kind of rocks — and her Supreme Court round-ups are the absolute best in the business. She manages to do for the Supreme Court what Chuck Klosterman does for bad tribute bands — make an otherwise tedious topic incredibly fascinating. And she’s been doing it for years.

John Carney, the guest writer in question, apparently doesn’t agree (he’s the one pictured above, in the middle — the homicidal lookin’ fella). He calls her “a deeply frivolous person,” suggests she is not of “normal intelligence,” and can’t decide whether she’s a “liar or a fool.” And he makes all of these oh-so-astute observations based upon one paragraph in Lithwick’s entire body of work — this, despite the fact she’s been writing for Slate for eight years.

But, the topic of this entry really isn’t John Carney and his dumbassery (the commenters on Lat’s site took care of that). Instead, I want to focus on David Lat’s disclaimer ahead of Carney’s entry. Lat clearly is a very intelligent man (and sexy, too!) — loads smarter than Mr. Carney — and because Lat rightfully appreciates Lithwick’s contributions, he attempts to separate himself from Carney’s piece. So, let’s pick apart his disclaimer. Lat’s actual words will be in italics, while what I imagine he was thinking when he wrote it will be in parenthesis. Let’s do it:

Ed. note: Today we’re pleased (not really) to present a guest post by John Carney. He’s the editor of our sibling site, DealBreaker (I’m really sorry, they are making me do this), and a non-practicing attorney (he’s a little rusty on the law, and let’s be honest: When he was a practicing attorney, he was a Skadden douchebag).

Please note that the views expressed in this post are those of John (and John alone) (please don’t lump me in with idiots like him. PLEASE). Unlike John, we HAVE met Dahlia Lithwick, and think she’s fabulous — one of the sharpest and funniest writers about the Supreme Court working today. (If she weren’t married and I weren’t of an unknown sexual persuasion, I’d hit that). We admire many members of the SCOTUS press corps — e.g., Jan Crawford Greenburg, Tony Mauro, Lyle Denniston (these are people that Carney has never heard of — see how much smarter ‘we’ are than him? — and by ‘we’ I mean, ‘I’) — but we don’t know of another writer who marries insight and humor the way that Lithwick does. (Carney blogs for a Wall Street site — he marries insight and humor like Britney Spears marries reason and birth control, i.e., not at all) As you can see from our Facebook profile, we are proud members of the We Love Dahlia Lithwick group. (Really — we, er, I would hit that. I’m not even kidding.)

Okay, enough disclaimers. John has a different view (A very unreasoned, irrational, kind of stupid view) — and since we value viewpoint diversity here at ATL (seriously, they’re making me do this), here it is. Enjoy.

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Comments

That was made even more entertaining when I imagine Kevin Nealon doing it as Subliminal Message Guy.

Oh God, now I can't read it without thinking of Kevin Nealon saying the words. There is humor on top of humor now!