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Vampires drink blood to stay alive, but what do pedophiles drink?

urinals.jpgIn at least one instance. Well. Uhm … kiddie piss.

Fifty-six-year-old Alan D. Patton, an admitted child molester, has been arrested for trying to collect piss from a men’s restroom because he apparently want to drink little boy piss.

And he’s been busted for this before.

Patton’s lawyer says that he suffers from urophilia, an “illness” involving sexual gratification and piss.

Awww … poor guy. See, he’s just sick. Hopelessly and derangedly sick.

For the curious among you, here was Patton’s simplistic collection methodology: “Patton was found in a men’s restroom where he had allegedly covered toilet seats in plastic wrap, shut off water to urinals and placed Styrofoam cups in them.” Then, just lurk and wait and, before you know it, fresh kiddie pee.

This wonderful specimen of a man has a great history too, from 1994’s conviction for sexually assaulting four young boys, to five other arrests for voyeurism and public indecency, among other things, to a 2006 arrest for trying to collect piss at a movie theater.

Where the fuck is Three Strikes when you need it?

(Hat tip to a “long time reader, first time tipster” who requested anonymity. No wonder — who wants to be associated with this scumbag?)

| Comments (1)


Well there goes my lunch. Thanks Quizlaw!