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Utah Bans Fruity Drinks

119-news-seagrams.jpgUtah’s Mormon-backed legislature has banned fruity alcohol drinks:

Utah’s supply of flavored malt beverages will likely be exhausted in a few weeks as manufacturers decide whether to comply with labeling rules intended to make it clear the products contain alcohol.
Utah has some of the strictest liquor laws in the country, a byproduct of its large Mormon population. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints counsels members not to drink alcohol, and the church is highly influential among state lawmakers on alcohol policy.
On Wednesday, Utah will be the only state to ban the sale of fruity alcoholic drinks at grocery stores and convenience stores in an effort to keep them from minors. Those drinks also must have new state-approved labels on the front of the product that contain capitalized letters in bold type telling consumers the drinks contain alcohol and at what percentage.

Actually, I agree with Utah’s ban. But not because I disapprove of alcohol geared toward minors, but because fruity drinks suck. Seriously: Mike’s Hard Lemonade? Give me a break. On the other hand, if you see a guy with Smirnoff’s Ice or Seagram’s Fuzzy Navel, you know exactly who to beat up before the night is over.

I’ll admit, though, back in college, there was a Grape Soda alcoholic beverage that came in two-liter bottles (the name escapes me) that I loved. God, it was good.

| Comments (9)


It was called Purple Passion and it was made with Everclear.

But you forgot that fruity drinks are liquid panty removers for the ladies.

Guys are so full of it. Almost every man I know reaches for the fruity drinks once he's drunk enough on beer not to care who sees him(though I agree that Mike's Hard is crap). Also, I've always found your alcohol-in-the-grocery-store thing puzzling, but it is damn convenient.

3l, do me a favor will you? Keep that kind of information to yourself. My 26 yr old told me she loves that stuff! It sucks being a dad to young women.

Oh, bringing back really bad memories w/ the Mike's Hard Lemonade reference...let's just say that I couldn't get the cab window down and leave it at that.

The US version of Mike's tastes awful. In Canada, it's made of vodka. MUCH tastier. Same with Smirnoff Ice and all the other flavoured alcohol. None of that weird malt aftertaste.

the church is highly influential among state lawmakers

That, my friend, is the King Of All Understatements.

Unflavored beer is the only alcohol that can be purchased in grocery stores. Everything else must be purchased at state liquor stores at a mandated 85% markup. Surprisingly, distributors don't seem keen on creating a special label just for Utah.

Suffice to say, my wives are very unhappy.

the church is highly influential among state lawmakers

You're twisting the facts there. The large LDS population in Utah means that most of the elected officials are Mormons. They create laws that they are personally willing to back, and what their constituents want.

The LDS church does not lean on politicians in any way and is not affiliated with government offices.

Just sayin.

I go for straight whiskey myself. Stings a bit, but it's faster than beer.