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Today in Semi-Erotic Legislation

42-17127092.jpgHere is part of a proposed bill (now withdrawn) attempting to define the term “Beer Caberet,” a
term I’ve actually never heard of. Neverthless, methinks the bill’s sponsor, Jerry Maynard, has read a few too many romance novels:

“Beer Cabaret” means a theater, concert hall, auditorium, night club, bar, restaurant, or similar commercial establishment, located within the adult entertainment overlay district established in accordance with chapter 17.36 of the metropolitan code, which regularly features live topless performances and dancers, not to include or permit specified prohibited anatomical areas or activities as defined in this section.
“Specified prohibited anatomical areas” means:
1. Less than completely and opaquely covered: Human genitals, pubic region,
2. Human male genitals in a discernibly turgid state, even if completely opaquely covered.
“Specified prohibited sexual activities” means:
1. Human genitals in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal;
2. Acts of human masturbation, sexual intercourse or sodomy.

Well, I’m hot and bothered! Talk dirty to me, you filthy filthy legislator!