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The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Turning
You know what’s awesome? Crazy bastards. You know what’s even more awesome? Crazy bastards with millions of devotees and the power to change the course of politics. And that makes Pat Robertson the awesomest!
Indeed, what the hell do we need with Nostradamus or the Farmer’s Almanac when former Presidential candidate and servant of hysteria Pat Robertson is getting the scoop straight from the Lord? According to God (via Pat), we’re all about to get on up and meet our makers, or at least a large smattering of us are. Why? ‘Cause the terrorist is all set for a “mass killing” of Americans, sometime late in 2007. It may not be nuclear, but it’s going to be something like that, so says God (via Pat).
Robertson also stated that God told him, on the DL, that the United States only pretends to care about Israel, when in fact we’re pushing them toward “national suicide.”
What I love about the predictions, which Robertson claimed to receive from the mouth of the Almighty during a prayer retreat, is that Robertson only puts out his annual “we’re all about to get extremely fucked” predictions with “humility.” Of course, he then states, “I have a relatively good track record. Sometimes, I miss.”
What do you mean, you miss? You mean that God is giving you bad intel? That the Supreme Being is fucking with you? That he’s like a deific tabloid you take with a grain of salt? Why would he do that, Pat? Shits and giggles? Does the Big Guy in the Sky like to occasionally pull a fast one on you?
Somebody hire this asshole in the Department of Homeland Security.
Comments
Maybe he can build a 'nuclear' Ark, and get the animals paired up.
Posted by Steve | January 4, 2007 3:02 PM