« U.S. vs. Iran? | Main | I’m not crazy, I’m just … oh, well, maybe I am just a touch nuts »

The shame of it is, now he can’t even use the bank as a reference

25years.jpgEtni Ortiz is our favorite kind of criminal — the kind that lives in Florida. Last December, Senor Ortiz robbed a Bank of America. When he left the bank, one of the hidden dye backs exploded all over Ortiz and his things. So he dropped the exploded dye pack and some of the stained money outside the bank and carried on his way.

Nine days later, Ortiz held up a second bank, getting away with some more cash. His spree came to an end the following month after he was arrested while driving a stolen SUV. But the reason the cops knew specifically to be on the lookout for Ortiz?

Turns out that at the first robbery, Ortiz didn’t just leave behind some dye-stained money — he also left a copy of his resume and photos of himself!

Last week he was sentenced to over 8 years in the clink, after having previously pled guilty to two counts of bank robbery and a count of transporting a stolen vehicle.

Why does someone take their resume with them when they rob a bank, you ask? And that’s a perfectly valid question because in Florida, there are no stupid questions. Only stupid criminals.