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Tasty Waves and … Doink!

spicoli.jpgAnyone out there know what subway surfing is? I suppose it’s self-explanatory, but for those without self-explanation mechanisms, it’s when some dumbass climbs atop a subway and surfs it, like they would a surfboard. Only, instead of the ocean’s wave, the danger these jackasses face are walls, one of which took the life of a 23-year-old yesterday, when he smacked into it, fell from the subway, and was run over by a oncoming subway train. I’m not unsympathetic to the guy’s death, but when you do stupid things, you’re bound to see stupid results. In fact, subway surfing has been a sporadic problem in NYC since 2003, when three people died during two separate incidents, including a 14-year-old kid.

However, instead of outlawing this sport, maybe we should listen to the “Polite New Yorker,” who offers this suggestion:

A better idea might be to let the engines of capitalism turn Subway Surfing into a legal sport. Think of it: ESPN could broadcast the subway surfing championships and subway surfers can quit breaking the law and getting themselves killed and train professionally and have a career. I’m sure an enterprising group of investors can buy surplus subway cars and build a course of train tracks.
The city can allow gambling on subway surfing and use the revenues to bolster our crumbling and criminally under-funded public school system. And with the dumber students entering the professional Subway Surfing circuit, there will be fewer dim bulbs clogging our overcrowded classrooms. If we get behind this, we can even have Subway Surfing recognized as an Olympic sport by 2012, when we hope to bring the Olympics to New York City.

Amen to that.

| Comments (2)


I'm just not seeing a problem here.

File under: Culling the herd.

You're not unsympathetic to the guy's death? Wow, what does that feel like?