Sandwich Artist?! Pfffffff.
There are few things more important to a man than a well made sandwich. Too much mustard, a shred of misplaced lettuce, or a stray and unwanted jalapeno can completely ruin an otherwise delicious footlong. Most people, unfortunately, don’t understand the “art” of a sandwich, even those motherfucking so-called “sandwich artists.” My ass. Finally, someone took a stand. Check it, courtesy of The Smoking Gun:
Meet Reginald Peterson. The 42-year-old Florida man became so upset last Thursday when a pair of subs “did not include ‘everything’ as he had requested,” he called Jacksonville cops “so that the police could have his sandwich made to his specifications,” according to a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office report. Peterson, pictured in the below mug shot, was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of placing false 911 calls. A Subway employee told cops that an irate Peterson was “screaming at everyone in the business” because a worker could not seem to rectify the sandwich problem.
Why the hell would they arrest the guy? If you ordered a new car, and you paid for the undercoating, and you didn’t get the undercoating, that’s theft, right? And if you ask for a good sandwich, and they don’t give you a good sandwich, they are breaking the implied contract. Just because footlongs are now $5 at all participating Subways doesn’t mean the “artist” can get lazy on your ass. I hope, at the very least, that Peterson got his money back. And some subway stamps for his trouble. Sheez. Whatever happened to an honest wage?