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Pisser

bathroom_stall.jpgYou know what’s not funny? When a 59-year-old man gets post-traumatic stress syndrome and falls into a diabetic coma that puts him in the intensive care unit.

You know what is funny? When getting one’s ass glued to a toilet seat is responsible for the coma.

That’s right, Bob Dougherty is suing Home Depot after he became stuck to a toilet seat in one of their restrooms, the result of someone pouring glue on the seat.

When the story surfaced in 2005 Dougherty also said he felt a “tremendous panic” when he realized he was stuck. The lawsuit claims it took 15 minutes for store officials to call for an ambulance and that paramedics had to unbolt the toilet seat and wheel out a “frightened and humiliated” Dougherty, who soon passed out.

Dougherty’s lawyer is claiming that he developed the diabetes as a result of the PTSD triggered by the toilet-seat incident. Medically, is that even possible? And can you really prove the link between diabetes and getting stuck on a toilet seat? And who the hell goes to a Home Depot to take care of his business?

Inquiring minds. The trial starts in March of next year. I hope the first question the defense asks is, “What possessed you, sir, to make the decision to use a public lavatory to drop a deuce?” The man’s lucky all he got was PTSD. And though rumors that you can get AIDS from a toilet-seat are completely unfounded, I’m guessing that those in Home Depot stores put that ridiculous theory to the test.

| Comments (5)


Comments

I love how the diabetic's name has "Dough" in it

I have no idea if this is true, but in college, a fellow student insisted that diabetes could be caused by a viral infection. He claims that he had no history of diabetes at all until he developed a severe fever (or it may have been pneumonia - this was several years ago). He essentially went into a coma, and after he came out of it, he found he had symptoms of diabetes.

The doctors insisted that he must have had diabetes all along, but he insisted that there was nothing until after he got sick.

And I knew a guy that went on a bender in Tijuana and afterward he woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Honest to god!!!

So admittedly I work in a neonatal ICU and thus this is a little outside my field, but I'm fairly certain I don't remember anything from nursing school about diabetes resulting from trauma... unless the PTSD caused him to develop a compulsive overeating disorder and he became obese and ended up with Type II diabetes? I guess? Maybe?

No, you can't "get" diabetes overnight from any situation.

And the link above sends you to an article called "Naked Woman Throws Rocks At Family". Amusing, but not as much as a guy getting glued to a seat.

You have to wonder how long the guy sat there after pouring the glue HIMSELF onto the seat, in order for the glue to have completely dried. Tell him not to eat Mexican anymore.

Woops. My apologies -- the link is fixed, if you want to know more about Mr. Sticky Ass. -- DR