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“Occupied!”

toilet.jpgWhen Lisa Bess got home, she was a bit confounded to find her bathroom door locked, with the water running. She called the cops, who came over and kicked the door open to find a man sitting on the toilet, butt nekkid. Seems that Tom Wilkerson had wondered up to Bess’ home and, finding a spare key outside, helped himself to a shower and shit in her bathroom.

“There was still a stench of my body lotion; actually, water was still draining from the bathtub,” Bess said. “And he was refusing to get off the toilet until he finished doing his business.”
The time in the house gave him a chance to shower up, using Bess’ Victoria’s Secret lavender body wash, and shave. She could smell her body wash in the air and said there was still steam on the bathroom mirror.
“He was perfectly clean cut when we saw him, but he was wearing our clothes,” she said. “I couldn’t tell you what underwear he was wearing, but I don’t think I want to know.”

Well his request to finish up before being taken away is pretty reasonable, no? I mean, you don’t let the dude finish his business, he’s just going to end up leaking on your rug on the way out to the patrol car, you know.

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Comments

But at least you know he'll smell nice on the way out. Just wait til he tells the other guys in the jail that the lovely scent is Pink.

wait, wait, who takes a dump AFTER they take a shower? WTF? Everything was reasonable until I read that. I am horribly outraged.

“There was still a stench of my body lotion"

Uh, is "stench" really the word she wants to use when referring to stuff she smears on herself?