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Now if we could just get some legislation protecting us from shitty Jerry Bruckheimer movies…

armageddon.jpgI hate Jerry Bruckheimer. Hate. He and Michael Bay are responsible for foisting some of the worst celluloid crap upon us this side of Uwe Boll. And I think it’s 1998’s Armageddon which really made my relationship with Bruckheimer irreconcilable. But the one good thing to come out of that movie is that at least folks now take the asteroid-smashing-into-Earth threat seriously. Which is why the House of Representatives recently passed H.R. 6063, legislation which would require NASA to come up with a plan to get a tracking device placed upon the Apophis asteroid, which is on track to come mighty close to our pale blue dot sometime in 2029.

In addition to paying close attention to Apophis, the bill requires the Director of the White House’s Office of Science and Technology Policy to come up with a policy for notifying Federal agencies and other emergency response groups of an impending near-Earth object threat. Hopefully they’ll come up with better plans than whatever it is they have enacted for natural disasters now, because their track record doesn’t really inspire confidence.

No doubt. No doubt.

jello-pudding-pops.jpgSpeaking of Bruckheimer, and this is absolutely a true story — I walked by him this weekend at The Grove, a fancy-schmancy outdoor mall here in LA. And without even thinking, my right hand clenched into a fist and I found myself overcome with a raging desire to slug him in the belly with all of my might. While I know controlling this urge was the right thing to do in the grand scheme of things, there is a part of me that will forever regret the decision (the same part of me that regrets not taking advantage of the opportunity, when I met Bill Cosby, to ask him what the fuck happened to Jello Pudding Pops).

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Comments

Ooh, they're back! The pudding pops, that is. Except, only chocolate, vanilla, and swirl. No fruit flavors. One summer, years and years ago, they had a fruit variety pack that had grape ones. Oh, how my siblings and I fought over those two grape ones. Yum.

oh they are so effing hard to find! one of my girls out on long island found some at a food emporium and brought them to work. i ate at least six. i haven't found any since :(

I was asking myself the same thing. Where did all the pudding pops go? I found that there is a Jewel-Osco in Elgin, IL that sells them. I know that doesn't you much good in CA, but it should give you hope. If I can find them....so can you my friend. Good luck and God speed.