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No animals were harmed in the writing of this entry

eeyore.jpgReid Hyams used to be a professor at Columbia College’s School of Media Arts. But then he left a note on the door of professor Jack Alexander and things changed. For this wasn’t a “I stopped by” note, or a “hey, come to my office when you get a chance” note. No sirree, this was a bestial-fellatio note. That is, Hyams note read: “Jack sucks donkey cock.”

Turns out, some take offense to such notions, and after complaints were made, Hyams found himself shitcanned. The school said this note was part of a dispute Hyams was having with Alexander. Hyams says “nuh uh,” claiming it was just “an impromptu joke.” He admits it might’ve been inappropriate, but doesn’t think it was a firing-type offense. And then there’s this explanation:

Besides, Hyams said, the note he wrote had said “Jack sucks donkey d—-” and that’s just an industry slang term for a type of electro-voice microphone.
“Somebody intentionally changed the term from one that has an industry connotation to one that does not,” said his attorney, Stuart Gimble. “Was it an inappropriate joke? Yes. But did he write what they say he did? No. That’s why we’re very surprised things have elevated to termination.”

Donkey dick equals a type of microphone? Is this slang Hyam picked up while he was in Tijuana?

(And, of course, Hyam is now suing the school.)