QuizLaw

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Let’s Blow this Joint

So, according to Dictionary.com, a “heist” means to “rob or hold-up.” But QuizLaw’s definition of an “awesome heist” means to “rob or hold-up while receiving oral pleasure.” And what we have for you today is an “awesome heist.” According to The Smoking Gun, out in Michigan this week, one of those spring/fall couples — Mark McIntosh (34) and Chelsea Carr (17) — decided to holdup a second-hand clothing store. But during the holdup, McIntosh pointed a gun at the store’s clerk, Charlie Cheeks, and said, “there’s only one thing that will stop” me from shooting. And what’s that, you ask? Well, McIntosh pulled down his pants and told Carr (that hot little number on the top/left) that the clerk would get the “chitlins knocked out of him” if she didn’t get his rocks off right then and there. So, Chelsea gave him a two-minute hummer, whereupon Mark said, “I feel better now,” and took off with $60, a Playstation, and a lot of second-hand clothes.

But this tale is not without a bizarre twist. First of all, after she was arrested, Chelsea Carr said that the only reason she provided the oral pleasure was to save Charlie Cheeks life, which strangely contradicted her other statement: That McIntosh didn’t actually have a gun, but a large black rock. The other bon mot to this tale, however, is that when Cheeks relayed the story to the police, they were so skeptical that they forced him to take a polygraph test. Cheeks passed; and now McIntosh and Carr are sitting in jail on counts of robbery and public indecency.

Posted by Dustin on August 31, 2006 | Comments (1)