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I’m guessing he didn’t look like that

grim-reaper.jpgI dunno about you, but if I’m a cop (or a “Bobby,” since this story comes from England) and I see Death hanging around outside the police station, I’m not arresting him. I’m getting the fuck out of that station quick as a fiddle. That’s not what happened in Morecambe, however. I’d tell you myself, but The Visitor does an excellent job writing the thing up:

A man standing outside Morecambe police station dressed as the ‘Grim Reaper’ was arrested after a drunken night that went from bad to worse.
Christopher Kelly, 31, had come to Morecambe on October 5 with a group of friends from Nelson and got extremely drunk on lager and vodka.
Kelly lost his mates, who were celebrating a friend’s birthday and were also drunk, and wandered onto the beach where he got stuck in boggy sand and lost his shoes, trousers and jacket.
Cold and wet, he staggered across the road to Morecambe Town Hall where, seeing a window open, he climbed inside.
There he went in various rooms, took a camera and a mobile phone which he tried to use to call his friends. Then he soiled his underwear which he threw into a black bin bag.
He found a ‘Grim Reaper’ fancy dress outfit and put this on before leaving the town hall and wandering down Lord Street towards Poulton Square where he eventually arrived at the police station which was, at that time, unmanned. He stood there for three hours, still in the Grim Reaper gear, until police arrived.

Got stuck in the sand. Lost his shoes, pants and jacket. Shit his underwear. This story has everything.

The prosecutor, that Bardsley chap, says that Kelly couldn’t remember why he snatched the camera and phone, adding: “He was cold and very drunk.”

I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. But how many of us have seen those nights end up with soiled drawers and Grim Reaper get-ups? Not enough, that’s what I say!

In any event, Kelly fessed up to everything and the local magistrates took it pretty easy on him, giving him the equivalent of six months probation and ordering him to pay the prosecution fees. Pretty fair, you ask me — I mean, having to air your dirty laundry, so to speak, is punishment enough in this case.