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I Was Going to Touch Myself for Dr. Betty Dodson!

lesbian%20guide.jpgFreakin’ Arkansan podunks. Out in Bentonville, Arkansas (that’s the home-office of Wal-Mart, where the only thing larger than SuperCenters are the Baptist churches) a man is suing the city after his two sons discovered a book in the public library: The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

Earl Adams is seeking $20,000 in damages and wants the library director fired, claiming that the book is “patently offensive and lacks any artistic, literary, or scientific value” (that’s a funny thing to say — is Adams a lawyer, or was he coached by one?). The book is a sex guide that has been deemed suitable for all libraries by the Library Journal. According to Amazon.com, “highlights include descriptions of sex writer Tristan Taormino’s private consultation with Betty Dodson, the author of Sex for One described as ‘the mother of masturbation’: ‘I was so excited about this adventure that I nearly peed in my pants,’ recalled Taormino, ‘I was going to touch myself for Dr. Betty Dodson!’”

And you’re going to tell me that a 14-year-old and a 16-year-old boy found that offensive and that the children were “greatly disturbed” by this? Bullshit. Shenanigans. No fucking way.

Listen up, Earl — the reason why your two boys have experienced “many sleepless nights in our house” was because they’ve been up thinking about girl-on-girl, you dipshit. They’re not sleeping because they’re spending all night scanning Skinemax looking for a late showing of Bound. I mean, c’mon: The Whole Lesbian Sex Book even has an “S/M hanky code laid out once and for all.” That’s not obscenity, that’s masturbation fodder. Instead of suing for $20,000, maybe you should be thankful that your two sons haven’t resorted to online porn subscriptions.

Oh yeah — and shove it up your ass, Earl. And if you need help, don’t go looking to the public library for The Whole Homosexual Book.

| Comments (6)


Comments

Gee, it would have been better if they had found the one with guys in it, wouldn't it. Then they could be "Just like Dad"!

I think for that they'd need the Complete Guide to Wankers.

Goddamn, people just don't get public libraries do they?

I hope they pursue legal ethics violations for frivolous law suit against him. I don't think there is any case law to support his suit.

I hope they pursue legal ethics violations for frivolous law suit against him. I don't think there is any case law to support his suit.

I have read this book and find nothing wrong with it.