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Girls Gone Stupid


Here are the top five celebrities I loathe the most, in order of despicableness:

1. Perez Hilton
2. Paul Haggis
3. Brian Robbins
4. Joe Francis
5. Paris Hilton

With that said, I don’t hate anyone enough to unfairly hold them accountable for the stupidity of others, even if one of the above five were enablers of that stupidity. Brian Robbins is perhaps the worst director in Hollywood, but I can hardly blame him because millions of idiots want to run out and see Norbit (which he directed) or Wild Hogs (which he produced). Likewise, Francis’ “Girls Gone Wild” series is perhaps one of the most blatantly misogynistic, culturally damaging series of our time, and there are certain instances where he despicably manipulates underage girls to be in them for which he does deserve a splintered broomstick up his ass.

But then again, many of the participants in the “Girls Gone Wild” videos, who are starting to go after Francis through the court system now, really don’t have much of a legal leg to stand on. The civil court system was designed to right legal wrongs – or to make people “whole” again. It should not, however, be a substitute for personal responsibility. Such is the case here, where two Florida women are suing Francis, claiming that Francis lured them into their van, offered them alcohol (even though they were underage), and then coerced them into exposing themselves and feeling one another up. They were allegedly promised that they wouldn’t be featured in any future “Girls Gone Wild,” videos, though they undoubtedly signed a release, which they claim can’t be binding because they were drunk at the time.

So, okay – not to excuse Francis, because he really should be shoved down a well hole into Hell, but c’mon: Those free T-shirts likely said “Girls Gone Wild” on them, and if the guy filming you is also the cameraman for “Girls Gone Wild,” what do you think is gonna happen, ladies? What, really, tipped you off? The video camera in your face? Or the consent form you state you signed while you were drunk? Use some freakin’ common sense, you know? Don’t pull up your shirts and play grab-ass with your girlfriend in front of a video camera if you don’t want it to be aired to the world. If you’d done that in front of half the guys in America holding a video camera, the footage would’ve been released somewhere, whether you signed a consent form or not. If you want someone to blame because your mommy saw your boobies on TV, blame your own goddamn self for flashing them in front of strangers.

But then again, what the hell do I care? Sue the bastard. Merits or not, take him for all the son of a bitch is worth.

| Comments (1)


Damn straight. But please don't sue him until my copy of Ultimate Rush ships first.