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donuts.jpgThirty-nine year old Lynn Dailey loves herself some donuts. So when she had a donut craving one afternoon, she did what any donut craver might do, and went off to the local grocery store. But rather than actually pay for a 44-cent donut — who would do something as silly as that? — she slipped a donut into the back of her pants and wandered outside of the market.

Unfortunately for Dailey, there were witnesses to her donut thievery and they called 911. The cops picked Dailey up outside an automotive store and arrested her for retail theft. And things get worse, in that Dailey had an outstanding bench warrant, so her donut thievery wound up getting her time in jail while waiting to see a county judge.

Meanwhile, the police spokesman, Sgt. James McElheny, is interfering with the public’s right to information:

Asked what type of doughnut police recovered from the woman, McElheny said, “smushed.”

Seriously, the public has a right to know what type of donut we’re talking about here! Jelly, glazed, butternut, chocolate? I mean, if there’s anything cops should be able to give us detailed info about, it’s donuts, right?

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Alton Brown, of Good Eats, was busted for shoplifting a box of donuts: