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Department of Bovine Threats

101e6347.jpgA Pennsylvania man has been given probation and community service after pleading guilty to sending his wife’s lover a bloody cow head.

Police said [Jason Michael] Fife obtained the cow’s head from a butcher’s shop, claiming he wanted the dried skull for decoration. Instead, he mailed the head frozen, so as not to alert parcel carriers to the contents, police said. The box became bloody after sitting on the victim’s doorstep on a warm day.
My client did step over the line here, but one can certainly understand his frustration, given that the victim was carrying on an affair with my client’s wife,” [his lawyer] said.

But the story also had a happy ending, folks. Fife and his wife, who have a child together, later reconciled. And I can’t think of a better couple than an adulterer and a psychopath.