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Coyote Ugl … Oops. Are You Okay?

Coyote%20Ugly%20Grand%20Opening.jpgAmy Mueller, an Illinois resident, is suing her local bar and tavern after the bar had the goddamn audacity — the nerve — to “allow” the woman to climb up onto the bar and dance. Apparently, it is custom at Samy’s Bar and Grill for patrons to occasionally get a little sloshed and climb aboard the bar and shake their tooshies.

Mueller, no doubt shitfaced-retarded, stepped up onto the bar with the restaurant’s permission, and had a little oopsie, falling down and hurting her wittle ankle. Now, she’s suing the bar for $50,000, claiming that the bar had a responsibility to provide a step-stool or ladder to drunken patrons who want to climb aboard after one too many appletinis and shake their sweater monkeys.

Her attorney, who foams involuntarily whenever he hears a siren, insists he’s not an ambulance chaser. “I wouldn’t take a case I believe is frivolous. She completely shattered her right ankle. This isn’t, ‘I fell and bruised my back.’”

That’s right — because if she’d fallen and bruised her back, he never would’ve taken the case, because the going rate for bruised backs is only $5,000.