« The Daily Memo - 7/20/07 | Main | The Best Little 10-Year-Old Boy Ever »

Child’s Play 5: The Conviction

ChuckyColor.jpgYou can breath easy folks, the 12 month reign of terror brought about by 12 year old Oliver Clinch has been brought to an end. No longer will you have to fear for the safety of your lawn gnomes, hide your prized Azalias, or keep your booze locked away. PC Graham Westwell can also now continue his career of cracking down on loiterers, and making sure that his crumpets don’t get soggy.

Clinch’s list of crimes include:

[Targeting] an Asian shopkeeper and his family with racial abuse at least a dozen times. Graffiti featuring Clinch’s name was daubed on the outside of the shop and the windows were smashed three times.
Clinch would also verbally abuse and spit at members of the public, subjecting them to a torrent of foul language.
On several occasions, he targeted women for abuse and made sexual remarks to a teacher after being expelled from school.
He also reversed his aunt’s car into the road and attacked her after she refused to drive him to a friend’s house.
Recently, he stole lead from the roof of the school, tried to smash a bus station window and stole a case of lager from an off-licence.

Now, with a ban on his troublesome activities in place, Clinch is suuuuure to be on the straight and narrow. Something else that just might work? A swift kick in the ass, people! A YEAR of lettin’ this kid get away with this crap??? Where I come from, five minutes after my first window breaking my ass would have been the color of a Netflix envelope.