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Call me?

old-timey-phone.jpgKristina Caban just earned herself a 5 year stint in the Big House for daring to get angry over a one night stand. Back in 2004, she and Samir “Sammy” Sara had themselves a little fling. One night, much love, no regrets. But then Sammy never called Caban again. She let her resentment linger and, two years later, hatched a plan with her new boyfriend, Robert Testagrossa. The pair lured Sammy to a hotel room, where Robert and another dude grabbed Sammy and used a Taser to freeze him.

Caban laughed at Sammy and kicked him and then used a metal wire shaped into an “R” to brand him.

Caban and Testagrossa both agreed to 5-year pleas, and were officially sentenced on Friday, with the judge saying that the branding was “not remotely justifiable.” Her lawyer, meanwhile, says that the picture painted by this story doesn’t really describe her: “She is not the monster the prosecution made her out to be.”

Nah, she’s just a bitter woman who held onto her resentment for two years and decided to brand a dude who didn’t call her. No monster there. She’s a fucking peach.

| Comments (3)


You know, it's stories like these that remind me that while I might get irate that a guy doesn't call me back and say he's an asshole and a douchebag, at least I'd never be crazy enough to Taze and fucking BRAND him! Jesus Christ!

Wait! What's the "R" mean?

She probably could not figure out how to bend out a "K" from one piece of wire, hence the "R."