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But Bigfoot Made Me Do It!

Morrillgene2.jpg.jpgA 57-year-old New Hampshire man, Gene Morrill, pleaded guilty this week to 20 charges stemming from his efforts to solicit sex from a 13-year-old over the Internet. He was ordered by a judge to serve 20 years in prison, even though he had a perfectly legitimate excuse for his actions:

Because he was molested by Bigfoot when he was a child. And look at the guy’s photo — makes sense to me!

Morrill reportedly told an investigator preparing his pre-sentence report that he had been sexually assaulted by the legendary Bigfoot. Patton said Morrill really believes the assaulted happened.

I dunno about you, but I think that’s a pretty goddamn good excuse: Molestation by a mythical creature might drive anyone to pedophilia.