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BREAKING NEWS - The Supreme Court Hates the Baby Jesus

nun-bong.jpgHow else to explain their ruling against the “Bong Hit 4 Jesus” kid? I mean, wouldn’t you want the Baby Jesus to take bong hits if you liked him? A stoned Jesus is surely a happy Jesus, and even if he were to get a little paranoid, that’s probably a good thing - since his return means it’s the End of Times and all that.

So yeah, in one of today’s several Supreme Court rulings, the Supremes issued a 6-3 decision against Joseph Frederick (in the case of Morse v. Frederick). Justice Alito reiterated the fact that kids in school don’t have the same free speech rights as us grown-up folks (although they still have some). Here, the Court said it was reasonable for the school’s principal to decide that Frederick’s banner was basically promoting illegal drug use, and that this is a message which is inappropriate for school.

Justice Stevens, however, joined by Justices Souter and Ginsburg, does want Jesus to get high:

This case began with a silly nonsensical banner, (and) ends with the court inventing out of whole cloth a special First Amendment rule permitting the censorship of any student speech that mentions drugs, so long as someone could perceive that speech to contain a latent pro-drug message.