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Best part of waking up

cup.jpgIn Easton, Pa. parents are resting a little easier come Christmas morning. Because now, the kids have gotten the message: don’t f*ck with Mommy or Daddy before the coffee is done.

Juan Arreola (probably already pissed at all the jokes about his name) pleaded guilty for several charges involving his girlfriend’s 2-year-old son, including assault and endangering the welfare of a minor. Arreola, prosecutors say, had been viciously abusing the child, the most recent incident happening happening in the morning when the boy woke him up. Arreola proceeded to throw the kid across the room, following it up with a squeeze of his face and a few punches to the chest. But what was really genius was his excuse for doing so.

When Northampton County Judge F.P. Kimberly McFadden asked Arreola if that’s how he regularly treated 2-year-olds, he replied: “I was working till midnight. I’m not a morning person.”
McFadden said she was almost speechless.
“You’re going to look at me straight in the face and say ‘I’m not a morning person,’?” she asked.

Of course, he had other excuses for the other times he beat the kid, including one where he kicked him because the child got in his way while they were moving and his hands were full with boxes. The judge (obviously much more well-rested than Arreola) ordered him to undergo psychological and psychiatric evaluations and set sentencing on Dec 14, where he could get a maximum of 20 years.

So parents new and old, with this printed out, helpfully highlighted and stuck outside your door, you will suddenly find your kids a lot more self-starting (and quiet!) in the morning.