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Back in my day, we didn’t stand for bitches stealing money. Still don’t!

abe-simpson.jpgErin VanMatre was hard up for money, apparently, and thought it would be a good idea to rob a helpless old man. Seventy-one-year-old Harry Kopenis (hee … penis) walked down to his bank to get some cash from the ATM. Suddenly, Erin came running out of nowhere, knocked him over, and took off with the hundred bucks he had just taken out. But Kopenis’ old-man buddy Kevin Lamb was nearby, and saw this go down. He fired up his motorized wheelchair and took after her. Kopenis, meanwhile, caught up with Erin and threw her in a headlock. Lamb caught up, and the two wrestled her to the ground! Fucking. A.

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Did they strip her naked and DP her? I hope so.