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As with many moments in life, things probably would’ve turned out better if Natalie Portman had been by his side

portman.jpgRobert Dooley is looking at federal wire fraud charges for a three-year scam that netted him a big hunka’ change. From May 2002 through October 2005, Dooley wandered into Home Depot stores scattered through several states. He’d put some store items in his shopping cart and then head over to the return desk. While he didn’t have a receipt for the items, obviously, he’d pull out his old IRS badge (he’d been an IRS clerk from February ‘01 through September ‘02) and tell the clerks they could trust him. He’d get credit put onto a Home Depot credit card, which he would later sell at a discount. While it’s unclear how much he personally pocketed from the scam, Home Depot lost over $300,000.

Dooley was convicted for state charges relating to all of this last year, and has been in the clink since last October. But now he’s facing these federal charges, which could get him an extra 20 years in jail if he’s convicted.

And if this sounds familiar, it’s almost the exact same way that Peter Sarsgaard’s Mark got pocket money in Garden State, only Mark didn’t have an IRS badge. But when he pulled the scam in the movie, he did have Natalie Portman lurking in the background, and I’m telling you - I’d believe just about anything anyone told me if they’re hanging out with her.