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And, if you like celery, congratulations! It’s on the house….
Real-estate mogul, blowhard, and egomaniacal twit, Donald Trump, recently lodged a formal complaint against his ex-wife’s application to trademark her name, “Ivana Trump.” According to U.S. Patent and Trademark Office records (obtained by The Smoking Gun), The Donald argues that Ivana’s trademark would create a likelihood of confusion because of its similarities to his own name (which, presumably, already has its own, well-coifed trademark). Ivana and The Dillweed divorced in 1992, but Ivana chose to keep her married name, and is now attempting to use it in a similar line of business, namely real-estate. The Donald opposes this because Ivana’s trademark is similar to his own, in that they both “include the word TRUMP.” Therefore, argues Donald, Ivana’s trademark would “dilute the distinctive qualities of Mr. Trump’s famous TRUMP mark.”
Dilute, eh? Earlier this year, Donald made similar accusations against Martha Stewart, accusing her version of “The Apprentice” of diluting the popularity of Donald’s version and, thus, the entire “Apprentice” franchise.
But really, how many more ways could you possibly dilute a name that is affixed to failed casinos, cheap suits, vodka, an online college, and a freakin’ cologne, already. Seriously, man: If I wanted to smell like dirty money, Binaca, and hubris, I’d buy Dick Cheney’s cologne. At this point, Donny, the only way you could really dilute your name any further would be to make that SNL skit a reality, and open up Trump’s House of Wings (right next to Al Sharpton’s Casa de Sushi!). Cock-a-doodle-doo, folks.
