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Who’s the guy with the Tom Cruise smile and the Rainman brain?
Uwe Boll — the German film director probably best known for taking popular video games and turning them into unpopular video-game movies that you have to pay $10 to see but can’t actually play, giving you the same trapped feeling you had going over to your boyfriend’s apartment, only to have your boyfriend ignore you for two hours while he carries on a nonsensical conversation that not even he is listening to — is suing Billy Zane and his distribution company, Romar Entertainment, alleging that poor marketing led to the failure of Toilet Boll’s latest feature, Bloodrayne, which grossed a measly $2.5 million at the box office. Boll claims that his contract with Romar was breached because the film was released on only 950 films, instead of the promised 2,000. Dan Carlson over at Pajiba.com, however, offers this defense:
Boll’s tally doesn’t include the 7,000 screens in Hell that have been airing the film nonstop since its release. It’s an easy mistake to make; I get confused myself with the distinction between domestic and foreign sales, and factoring in supernatural screenings is bound to throw a wrench in the works.
Boll and his production company also allege that they gave about $900,000 out of the money provided for distribution and promotion, including an unauthorized $450,000, to Zane as a “finder’s fee.” In a related story, Zane was also given a $1.5 million finder’s fee for discovering a huge pile of shit on a New York City sidewalk.
