« The Daily Memo - 2/6/07 | Main | So Crazy it might just be Genius »

Well, That All Depends

nowak.jpgYou’d think that one of the few places absent of psycho-crazy lovers would be NASA, but man alive, would you be wrong.

Indeed, Navy Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak, a mission specialist on board the space shuttle Discovery, was arrested for battery and attempted kidnapping charges on Monday. Turns out, Lisa Marie and an engineer, Colleen Shipman, were in love with the same Naval commander. So, Nowak drove from Houston to Miami to confront Shipman about her relationship with him; Shipman had gone the same route via a commercial airline.

Once Shipman reached her car in the Miami airport parking lot, Nowak was waiting for her. Shipman, scared for her life because a crazy woman in a trench coat was waiting for her, jumped into her automobile. When Nowak started crying, Shipman rolled down her window about two inches and Nowak pepper sprayed her.

Shipman then drove to a toll booth and notified police, who tracked Nowak down, and discovered in her possession a BB pistol, a steel mallet, a folding knife, rubber tubing, adult diapers that Nowak used to eliminate stops on her drive, a letter indicating how much she loved the Na …. Whoah! Back up, here. Diapers! This woman was in such a hurry to assault her romantic competitor that she decided to forego bathroom stops on a drive from Houston to Miami? She just shit her pants?

Oh, lord. No wonder she was wearing a trench coat – to hide the load in her drawers, I’d imagine. Nowak claims that she had no intention of harming anyone. But, still, you gotta wonder what a woman wearing adult diapers and carrying around a steel mallet had in mind. I’m guessing it wasn’t a polite game of footsie.

Update: Nowak is now facing attempted first-degree murder charges. I wonder if the plan was to perform a little fecal asphyxiation with the contents of her diaper.