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“Uhm, actually, can I just get the peanuts?”

nwa.jpgThis is just nasty - an off-duty Northwest Airlines employee, Samuel Gonzalez, has been arrested and is awaiting criminal assault charges for ejaculating on a passenger. The affidavit attached to the criminal complaint comes from an FBI agent assigned to the International Terrorism Squad, Michael N. Cannizzaro, Jr. He was on a Northwest flight and, as he states in his affidavit:

5. During the latter stages of the flight, and while the Victim [an unidentified adult female passenger] was trying to sleep in her assigned aisle seat, an adult male, later identified as Samuel Oscar Gonzalez, sat down in the middle seat next to the Victim. Gonzalez was assigned to a seat in another area of the aircraft and was not assigned a seat next to the victim.
6. Gonzalez began touching the Victim, which she described as spooning. The Victim then felt her shirt move up her back and her side. The Victim felt additional touching by Gonzalez, who then got up from the middle seat and walked towards the forward part of the aircraft.
7. When the Victim reached to adjust her shirt, she felt what she described as a warm fluid on her back and on her side. The Victim also saw fluid on her clothing and a seat. The Victim described the fluid as “semen,” and told investigating Agents and Officers that Gonzalez had ejaculated on her.

What the hell?

A Northwest spokesman allegedly responded to this matter by saying that, in light of the airline cutting back on the in-flight food options, Northwest figured this was a reasonable alternative to give the customers some protein.

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Comments

Semen is composed of surfactant, nucleic acids, and small amounts of protein...but then I suppose you think that irrradiated organic matter glows, too.

"...but then I suppose you think that irradiated organic matter glows, too."

It does, don't it? When Homer gets irradiated, he comes out with a healthy green glow. And if it's on "The Simpsons," it has to be true.

Who the hell lets a stranger "spoon" them on a flight? I'm not saying this woman asked for anything, but that is just weird.

Who the hell lets a stranger "spoon" them on a flight? I'm not saying this woman asked for anything, but that is just weird.