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There’s no place like home
You know how when you’ve been away from home for a real long time and then you’ll be out somewhere and see or smell something and that sight or odor suddenly takes you back to where you used to live, and you’re overcome with old memories and whatnot? Well, I’m from Philadelphia originally, and we do things a little different in the ‘illadelph.
Sure, the smell of a thinly sliced rib-eye, grilled up in its greezy juices, takes me back to Pat’s (Geno’s can suck a nut!). And seeing something really heartbreaking, or getting kicked squarely in the groin, always reminds me of the Phillies. But to really take me back to Philadelphia, I need a little something more.
Something like a guy who uses his car sometimes to deliver Domino’s pizzas and sometimes to deliver dead bodies, even creatively using the corpse-carrying stretcher to hold the pies when he’s in pizza-delivery mode. That’s home! Said delivery man was originally pulled over last week for not having an inspection sticker on his car. When the cops realized he was pulling this double duty, one can assume that they were anxious to throw him in the clink. But, one phone call to the local health folks later, the cops learned that there’s absolutely no law or ordinance forbidding this.
Which is really fine by me. I don’t see a problem with this for two reasons. First, it’s not like he had pizzas and corpses in the car at the same time. But more importantly, even if he did have them both in his car at once, if we’re being really serious with each other, we have to admit that there’s really nothing a dead body is going to do to that pie that’s any worse than what Domino’s has already done to it. If anything, it might actually make the pizza a little better!
